CWA E-Fed: Rising Sun (might affect card)

Started by DogTheUnemployed, May 24, 2010, 07:57:20 PM

Previous topic - Next topic


The camera fades in from commercial break. Funaki is shown sitting in a large corner booth of a small Cleveland, OH diner. A waitress passes by and leaves a glass of water and a basket filled with breadsticks.

Waitress: "Anything else until your friend gets here?"

Funaki shakes his head back and forth, and the waitress walks off in another direction. Funaki looks to make sure that she is out of view and begins to fill his mouth with breadsticks from the basket, stopping only to wash it down with occasional sips of water. After a split-second gorging, Alpha can be seen walking into camera shot. He wears a pair of jogging pants and a sweat-soaked, white muscle shirt. He heaves to catch his breath as though he has just finished a long run.

Alpha: "Tell me that you have had more than that to eat in the last few days."

Funaki looks down at the floor in shame and then reaches for another breadstick to satiate his hunger.

Alpha: "Anyway, I am glad that you came. I have something very important to ask you."

At this point the waitress returns, placing a glass of water before Alpha, and another basket of breadsticks in front of Funaki.

Waitress: "Are you two ready to order now?"

Alpha: "Nothing for me,....<notices waitress's name tag> Amber. I'm in a hurry, but get the special of the day for my buddy here."

The waitress writes the order down on her note pad, nods to Alpha, and heads off in the direction of the kitchen. Alpha turns to Funaki.

Alpha: "Don't worry about it. My treat!"

Funaki leans over to Alpha and whispers something, using his menu to cover his lips.

Alpha: "I suppose that she sort of looks like that Amber girl from the Simply Shawn segment a few weeks ago. What's the point?"

Funaki leans over and whispers some more words to Alpha. Alpha turns and grabs the menu from his Funaki's hands, slamming it onto the table.

Alpha: "Man, I don't care what she is wearing? I called you hear for a reason, and you are pulling these childish antics. Would you really want Simply Shawn's sloppy seconds anyway?"

Funaki nods eagerly as the anger can be seen growing in Alpha's expression with each passing second. Alpha closes his eyes and sits quietly in the booth, doing his best to calm himself down.

Alpha: "Whatever! Like I said, I asked you here for a reason. It's become painfully obvious to me that I haven't made many friends in the CWA..."

Funaki: "What about....?"

Funaki tries to think of a name, but he comes up with nothing and returns to eating his breadsticks.

Alpha: "I need someone to watch my back during my match with Altraz. JBL has got himself a seat during the match as color commentator, and I have this feeling he is going to interject himself into my match in some way."

Funaki: "Always keeping the brother down!"

Alpha again looks at Funaki with anger in his eyes.

Alpha: "I want someone there to watch JBL, and I have decided that you are the closest thing to an ally that I have. Besides, if Trish can put a fat blowhard like JBL as commentator, she can put the CWA's #1 <points in air> announcer, <points to Funaki> FUNAKI as co-commentator."

Funaki thinks about the opportunity offered to him for a short while. Suddenly, he jumps to his feet, holds a breadstick in front of his mouth as if it was a microphone, and speaks to an imaginary audience.

Funaki: "CWA fans, welcome to your Main Event brought to you by none other than the CWA's #1 <points in air> announcer, FUNAKI."

Funaki takes a bite out of the breadstick, bows to Alpha, and extends his empty hand to Alpha to formalize the deal. The two shake hands as Alpha reaches into his pocket with his free hand and pulls out a large wad of cash. He pulls a few bills from the wad and places them on the table.

Alpha: "This is for the meal....<pulls a few more bills off> and this is to get you some decent clothes. I can't be seen teaming with somebody who looks like he stole his wardrobe from the Brooklyn Brawler. I expect you to be there and wearing something befitting the CWA's #1 announcer."

Funaki takes the bills and stuffs them in his pocket. He stands, looks Alpha in the eyes, and corrects him with a load and resolute voice.

Funaki: "The CWA's #1 <points to the sky> announcer, FUNAKI <points to himself>. Say it right or don't say it all."

Alpha stands silent for a while, shocked by Funaki's sudden surge in courage and self-esteem. Alpha turns and walks off camera as the waitress returns with a plate of the house special and places it before Funaki. She quickly turns to leave, but Funaki stops her before she can take a few steps.

Funaki: "Amber, have you even been on television?"

Funaki points to the camera, and Amber turns to the camera, shocked that she didn't notice it before.

Amber: "Just...just the one time...Am I going to be on TV?"

Funaki: "You could be. I am casting for this TV spot I have coming up, and you are perfect. In fact, you are everything that I am looking for and more."

Amber sits down next to Funaki and places her hand on his shoulder.

Amber: "You really think so?"

Funaki: "INDEED!"

The camera fades to black to the sounds of Funaki and Amber giggling in the booth.

1. I hope it is okay to add Funaki to color commentary.
2. Gold star if you get the final Funaki reference.

"Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things." --- Zapp Brannigan (Beast With a Billion Backs)

Joey Cilo


"Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world." - Bill Bullard


Quote from: CreedP on May 25, 2010, 03:35:17 PM
-->Pretend this is the card image<--

Shhhh.  ;)


Dog, I think you need to change the title of the thread to "INDEED" (definitely affects card)  ;)
Universally Recognized as a Mature and Responsible Adult.

Playing on Lackey? I'm on US Eastern Time; you can check what time it is for me here.