CWA Wired (3-14-10)

Started by Turd Ferguson, March 15, 2010, 01:45:37 AM

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Turd Ferguson

Joey Styles: Welcome everyone to the very first edition of CWA Wired! I am Joey Styles accompanied by my broadcast partner Christopher Nowinski!
Christopher Nowinski: Joey from now on when you say my name I would like you to refer to me as Harvard Alumnus Christopher Nowinski!
Joey Styles: No, moving on though we have our first match in the tournament to crown our very first Canadian Heavyweight Champion!

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match A
John Bradshaw Layfield vs CM Punk

JBL seems uneasy that CM Punk is accompanied to the ring by two other people, but quickly shoves those thoughts out of his mind and gets down to business. Punk goes for a leg kick, but Bradshaw just absorbs it into his thick frame and nails the Straight Edge Savior with a clubbing blow to the side of the head which knocks him over. Mr. Layfield goes on the offensive using his size to land a series of powerful strikes as he takes control of the match. Punk is really getting off to a poor start while John continues to land high powered strikes on him for several minutes. Eventually he whips Punk off the ropes and CM Punk goes for a cross body block, but he's caught! JBL takes him overhead for a devastating Fall Away Slam! He starts to set up for the Clothesline from Hell while the referee checks on Punk just as John gets ready to take off Steven Richards grabs his foot! JBL turns around to see what is going on when Punk leaps up and hits him with a forearm shot to the back! Punk has a second wind as he stomps on JBL before lifting him up and tossing him into the corner turnbuckle! He builds up a head of steam and hits a high knee into a running bulldog! CM Punk pumps up with JBL rises off his feet and gets ready to set up for the GTS! Just as he tries to grab him Bradshaw nails him with a sickening elbow to the face. JBL runs off the ropes and CLOTHESLINE FROM....NO! Punk ducks under his arm! Bradshaw turns around immediately and is struck with a high kick to the temple and falls forward right into Punk's grasp as he leverages him onto his shoulders. GO TO SLEEP! 1..2..3!

Winner: CM Punk

Joey Styles: I'm not too sure about the pure intentions of CM Punks and his friends.
Christopher Nowinski: Cease that talk now Styles. Straight Edge is here to stay. I love JBL, but he just ran into an unstoppable force tonight.
Joey Styles: Whatever you say, next up is Chris Jericho and Gavin Payne.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match B
Chris Jericho vs Gavin Payne

Gavin Payne starts off a house of fire rolling with chops as the crowd goes WOO! Jericho's chest is burning red and he rolls under the bottom rope for a breather. The crowd gives him heat until Gavin comes out after him. Jericho notices this and immediately slides back in the ring. When Gavin proceeds back in Jericho ambushes him with a double axe handle and begins controlling the pace. He keeps it slow and on the ground and he wrenches down with a camel clutch. Payne shows no pain as he holds in tight with no sign of tapping out. Chris grows tried of it and relents the hold only to start stomping on the back of his opponent. Clearly he's got the Walls of Jericho in mind weakening that area. He picks up Gavin and nails him with a crushing backbreaker but holds on and begins stretching his body over his knees for several seconds before dropping him to the ground. Jericho taunts for the fans awhile until he notices Gavin getting back up to his feet. Chris rushes in and hits a one handed bulldog! We all know what's coming next...LIONSAULT! 1..2..NO! Gavin Payne kicks out and Jericho seems frustrated. He argues the count speed with the referee. Growing tired of this he moves back towards his opponent and grabs both legs setting up for the Walls of Jericho. As he attempts to turn him over Gavin grabs his head and rolls him up 1..2..3!

Winner: Gavin Payne

Christopher Nowinski: NO! NO! Jericho got screwed!
Joey Styles: What? He won fair and square because Jericho had to argue with the referee giving him time to rest.
Christopher Nowinski: That's a bunch of lies and you know it! Jericho should have won that match because he is the best in the world at what he does!

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match C
Alpha vs Christopher Daniels

Christopher Daniels enters the ring slowly and turns his back to Alpha as the bell rings. Alpha bounces off the ropes and ALPHA STRIKE! 1..2..3!

Christopher Nowinski: That's the fastest match I've ever seen.
Joey Styles: Looks like Alpha is trying to be the top dog in the CWA! Next up is the final round one match featuring the high flying AJ Styles against D2.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match D
AJ Styles vs D2

The bell rings and AJ Styles runs at D2 then leaps over his head with a sunset flip! 1..2..3!

Christopher Nowinski: I take that back. Now THAT was the fastest match I've ever seen.
Joey Styles: The Phenomenal One sure looks like he exemplifies his nickname there. Our next match of the night is sure to be the most wild and exciting one with five tag teams in the match at the same time vying for the right to call themselves the Canadian Tag Team Champions!

Tag Team Championship Elimination Tornado Tag
Keldon Bloodsword & Jarek Mace vs Steve Richards & Nick Brolic vs Dilbert & Joey Cilo vs The DiBiase Brothers (Mike & Ted Jr.) vs Raven & Sean Storm

Chaos ensues. All ten men rush at each other and start brawling in the center of the ring. It's just a mass of bodies being struck and smashed all around. On one side of the ring Dilbert smashes Richards with a superkick which sends him out of the ring. While this is going on Nick Brolic double clotheslines both DiBiase Brothers over the top and sends them flying down to the floor below. He is then jumped from behind by Keldon and the two of them rolling under the ropes and start brawling outside of the ring. Raven slides under the ring and grabs Jarek's foot while Sean Storm drop kicks him. The two then take Jarek out together and being double teaming him. This leaves Dilbert and Joey Cilo in the ring together they have their backs to each other and simultaneously step backwards right into each other. The two men turn and meet eye to eye. Cilo dismisses his partner with a scoff and Dilbert doesn't take it. He tags him with a backhand chop and Cilo shoves Dilbert. Dilbert falls right into Mike DiBiase who clubs him in the back of the head while Ted Jr. snatches Joey Cilo from behind and hits Dream Street! 1..2..3! Joey Cilo and Dilbert have been eliminated. The two DiBiase Brothers high five each other, but then exit the ring. Instead of joining the mayhem outside the ring they start walking up the entrance ramp and just leave the match behind.

With three teams left they slowly begin to start filtering back in the ring. Keldon throws a beaten Nick Brolic back into the ring while he digs for weapons under the apron. He comes up with a steel chair and slides in getting ready to go to work. He brings it up ready to punish Brolic some more when Sean Storm comes out of nowhere and Super Kicks the chair right into his face. Jarek who has overcome Raven sees this and crushes Storm with a sickening spear taking him out! 1..2.Storm kicks out! Jarek pops back to his feet and sees Richards rushing at him he strikes him with a punch, another punch and then a devastating 360 degree clothesline. The crowd is going wild as Jarek as just cleaned house, but he turns around into a kick...BROLIC BUSTER! 1..2..3 Jarek Mace and Keldon Bloodsword are eliminated. This leaves two teams remaining in the match. Richards is flat out in the ring and Brolic tries helping him to his feet while he does this Raven comes into the ring with a kendo stick and goes for Brolic who ducks and sprints into the ropes. On the rebound he tries to hit Raven with a running clothesline, but he ducks as well. Sean Storm is just getting up and is met with GREETINGS FROM BED STUY! Brolic turns around and is smashed in the face with the kendo stick several times from Raven knocking him down. Richards staggers to his feet only to be snatched by the head RAVEN EFFECT! 1..2..3!

Winners and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Raven and Sean Storm

Joey Styles: What a match!
Christopher Nowinski: It figures that no good Raven had to use a weapon to defeat the superior straight edge competitors!
Joey Styles: It's all legal in this match. What happened with your friends the DiBiase Brothers did they chicken out?
Christopher Nowinski: NO! They have a plan, but I...uhh can't tell you because it's top secret!
Joey Styles: Wait, I'm getting word that we actually have a camera backstage with them right now!

The screen goes to the locker room to show a fully dressed pair of DiBiase Brothers strolling up casually to a stretch limousine. Jeremy Borash runs up looking for a comment.

Jeremy Borash: What happened out there? Why did you two leave mid way through the match.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: We accomplished what we were aiming to do this evening. We don't have to explain ourselves to you or anybody for that matter, but because we are generous people we will. Next week on CWA Wired! We have reserved a piece of time to make an announcement and explain our actions tonight. We will discuss it then and only then. Come on Mike let's get out of here.

With that said they go into their limo and drive off into the night.

Christopher Nowinski: We get an exclusive announcement from the DiBiase Brothers on our next show! This is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
Joey Styles: Alright, now we are moving along with round two of the Canadian Championship tournament.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 2 Match A
CM Punk vs Gavin Payne

CM Punk enters the ring first and waits while Gavin's entrance music plays. Nothing happens...again nothing happens. CM Punk grins while the tron activates showing Gavin laid out backstage. Apparently he was ambushed from behind and is no condition to compete. The medics try to help him on to a stretcher, but he pushes them away and starts limping out towards the ring. His music plays again and he slowly makes this way down and the match begins. Punk immediately hops on to him and starts beating him down with vicious kicks. One particular one to the back of the neck takes him down and Punk locks on the Anaconda Vise! Payne struggles furiously, but to no avail and he is forced to submit!

Winner: CM Punk

Christopher Nowinski: Straight Edge prevails again!
Joey Styles: I want to know who did that to Gavin Payne! He clearly was not ready to get into the ring after that.
Christopher Nowinski: Well I guarantee that CM Punk had nothing to do with it.
Joey Styles: Sure thing, whatever you say.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 2 Match B
Alpha vs AJ Styles

AJ uses his quickness to get the upper hand out of the gate hitting the more powerful Alpha with a series of swift kicks and light grappling moves. Alpha really seems lost out there with AJ's agility leaving him confounded.  He begins just swinging wherever he sees Styles and eventually gets lucky and catches him with a jab to the face! Styles tumbles to the ground after getting hit. Alpha slows down the pace and begins wearing down AJ with a variety of punches as he shows off his boxing background. After this Alpha snatches AJ up and bear hugs him right in the center of the ring! AJ has nowhere to go and Alpha is slowly draining the life from him. The crowd begins clapping in sequence and Styles seemingly draws life from this as he wills himself back into it and eventually strikes Alpha in the face forcing him to relinquish his hold. Styles tries to capitalize and sprints at Alpha who uses his own momentum against him and whips him into the corner turnbuckle! Alpha follows this up with a big splash attempt, but AJ back somersaults on to the top rope causing Alpha to crash into the turnbuckle! AJ kicks him in the head knocking him to the ground and hits the SPIRAL TAP! 1..2..NO! Alpha throws him off with a force. Both men rise to their feet and start exchanging strikes one of Alpha's sends AJ reeling which leads to Alpha winding up EUTHANASIA! Styles immediately collapses to the ground and Alpha hooks both legs 1..2..3!

Winner: Alpha

Joey Styles: What an incredible showcase match by these two competitors. Both men did an amazing job and I think we'll be seeing great things from in the future.
Christopher Nowinski: That's funny because I was just thinking of how atrocious they looked to me.
Joey Styles: Now we go to the ring where our owner Trish Stratus is going to make an announcement.
Christopher Nowinski: Oh great...

Trish Stratus: Hello everyone, are we having a great time tonight or what?!?

The audience pops at someone acknowledging their existence.

Trish Stratus: Well I have already had several complaints from certain individuals backstage who shall remain unnamed about matches for our next show. Several of them are already lined up, but I'm here to announce next week's main event! It is going to feature Chris Jericho and Joey Cilo tagging up against Gavin Payne and Dilbert! There is already some tension between these four and I'm looking for them to get it out in the ring rather than in my office. Also we will have many of our other fantastic competitors facing off, so be sure to tune in for the next episode of CWA Wired!

Joey Styles: Sounds like a great match lined up!
Christopher Nowinski: It will be great when Chris Jericho gets revenge on that rat Gavin Payne!
Joey Styles: Now we have our first ladies match here in CWA with Alyssa Mace facing off against Ashley Lane!

Singles Match
Alyssa Mace vs Ashley Lane

Ashley starts out trying to punch Alyssa, but it's countered into an arm drag which is held in and locked into an arm bar. Lane fights to try and get out of it, but luckily the arm drag brought her towards the side of the ring so he just slides her foot under the rope to break the hold. Alyssa holds on trying to send a message before letting go. The referee warns her not to do that again. Ashley uses this distraction to pull Alyssa down by the hair! Alyssa is frustrated but pops right back up to her feet and charges at Ashley who counters with a leg lariat! Ashley pins 1..NO! Alyssa strongly kicks out with a look of determination on her eyes! The two rise up simultaneously and Ashley goes for a strike, but it's countered into a hammer lock! Ashley is feeling the pressure on her arm and manages to spin out of it and turn around, but Alyssa is one step ahead and ducks to counter into a Northern Lights Suplex! She perfectly executes a bridge 1..2..kick out! Alyssa hops to her feet and stalks Ashley as she slowly rises up. Alyssa comes running in, but Ashley springs up out of nowhere and Hurricanranas her into the mat! This seemingly took the energy out of Ashley as well and both women take their time to get up. When they do Ashley comes in with another strike attempt which Alyssa works into an arm takeover and holds on while she stomps Ashley's elbow with her foot! Ashley writhes in pain until Alyssa lifts her off the ground, knees her in the gut and lifts her up powerbomb style to go for the Bimbo Breaker! Ashley wriggles out though and as Alyssa turns around she's caught with a cutter of nowhere! 1..2..3!

Winner: Ashley Lane

Joey Styles: Whoa! Where did that come from I didn't even know that move was in her repertoire.
Christopher Nowinski: She has been working on it. She told me earlier today she'd be debuting it tonight. She calls it the Wrong Lane and she'll be using it as her finisher.
Joey Styles: Well it certainly got the job done tonight. Now we move on to our main event of the evening...

Turd Ferguson

Canadian Championship Tournament Finals
CM Punk vs Alpha

Alpha is a man on a mission and immediately begins working over Punk with punches all over the place. The human eye can barely keep up with his fists here and he pummels Punk into the ground. Alpha pumps up and gets the fans barking at him in support of him against the Straight Edge Savior. This continues for several minutes of Alpha just dominating until he whips CM Punk into the ropes and nails a powerslam!! CM Punk manages to get his shoulder off the mat just in time or else this could have been a quick one. Alpha gets up and lays in wait behind his rising opponent and nails him with a crushing German Suplex! Again he goes for the cover! Punk just won't stay down. Alpha signals to the crowd and they know what is coming up next. Alpha patiently waits for Punk to come off the mat when he sprints into the ropes and ALPHA STRIKE! Punk dodges and Alpha destroys the referee! Alpha can't believe what happened and begins working on Punk again when suddenly somebody begins walking down the entrance ramp towards the ring!

It's Awesome Kong! The crowd doesn't know how to react as they had no idea she was even in the CWA! Kong rolls into the ring and confronts Alpha! Alpha does not know how to react and gives her a puzzled look until she kicks him in the groin! Alpha doubles over in pain and Kong uses all her strength to lift him for the  Awesome Bomb! She then pulls Punk on top of Alpha and slaps the referee back to life before leaving the ring! The referee slowly crawls over 1....2....NO! Alpha somehow manages to rise his arm up! Both men get up to their feet simultaneously and Alpha winds up for the EUTHANASIA, but Punk dodges and catches him with a high kick to the back of the head! Alpha goes down and Punk goes down to lock in the ANACONDA VISE! Alpha resists with all his might, but he doesn't have the strength left to power out of it. He refuses to tap out, but has no other options! The pain and agony is clear as day on his face as he struggles to stay conscious. He begins to fade out and the referee lifts his arm falls, falls and for a third falls!


Joey Styles: What a screwjob! CM Punk there will be hell to pay for what you have orchestrated tonight!
Christopher Nowinski: The era of the Straight Edge Censoring has begun! STRAIGHT EDGE! STRAIGHT EDGE! STRAIGHT EDGE!

Nick Brolic and Steven Richards run down to the ring where they join Awesome Kong and CM Punk who is cradling his newly won belt! Nick Brolic lifts his Straight Edge Savior on his shoulders as heat rains down upon them from the live audience. The Society standing tall in the ring is the final image we see of the first episode of CWA Wired!