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Topics - Turd Ferguson

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1
Classic Raw Deal / Tips for selling cards online
« on: August 06, 2012, 11:49:32 AM »
So, I've put off trying to sell any of my extra raw deal because I didn't want the hassle. Now I have decided to get rid of some of my excess ultra rares and want to sell them off.

I have never sold anything online though I do have an ebay account with a ton of positive feedback as a buyer. My biggest question would be how do I go about shipping the cards? I assume I would sleeve them and ship them in a padded orange envelope, but how do I know how much postage to put on it? Also do I send it out from my home mailbox or do I go to the post office to drop it off?

Are there any other things I need to know about selling online? If I were to sell through here I know I'd be relatively safe, but through eBay I know some people have had trouble scammers lately. What should I look for or do proactively to avoid those?

2
Sports Discussion / Nick Lidstrom retiring?
« on: May 30, 2012, 01:32:28 PM »
Rumors around here are swirling that Lidstrom is going to announce his retirement at a team press conference tomorrow.

He will be greatly missed on the ice. Lidstrom's a legend who will definitely be in the hall of fame.

3
Sports Discussion / ESPN hypocrites
« on: November 29, 2011, 11:42:17 PM »
Video Link

Apparently ESPN had the audio tape proving Bernie Fine was a pedophile EIGHT YEARS AGO and did not release it to the police. Weren't these the same people who demolished Joe Paterno's reputation for something far less serious. I hope someone goes to prison over this.

4
Professional Wrestling Discussion / If you were booking the WWE...
« on: August 08, 2011, 08:37:58 PM »
We all criticize the WWE frequently around here (most of the time with ample justification). So now I'm going to pose a question to the TCO'ers out there. If you were the one in charge of booking the WWE what would you do to improve the product?

I have a couple of ideas that I would run with myself.

1. Build around the youth. This company has guys like Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Sheamus and Wade Barrett who are all extremely talented and under the age of 35. Recently they have finally started using some of these guys well, but overall they sometimes just don't know what to do with that talent. Wade Barrett came off like gold as the leader of Nexus and now he's just a guy. I'd bring up some guys from the indies or use some talented "superstars" guys and build a stable with Barrett as the centerpiece. I think he's just one of those guys who works best at the head of a stable. Fill the stable with good hands and push the group with the sole purpose of getting Barrett over if one of the other guys breaks out that's just a bonus.

2. Revamp developmental. FCW has not produced a ton of great talent with the exceptions of Sheamus and Barrett who both put in plenty of time elsewhere first they haven't really put out anyone worthwhile. So I'd have guys like Malenko and Arn Anderson scout the indies to look for future stars. Have them go across the country watching live shows solely to find the guys with potential. Sign the guys they recommend and put them in developmental with a legit trainer to teach them WWE style and use that as your springboard onto the main shows.

3. Utilize the tag teams. Right now the tag team titles might as well be the superstars exclusive belts. Tag teams have rapidly faded into the background in the WWE in lieu of more singles wrestling. Tag team matches have a different dynamic and serve to showcase young talent that otherwise might be languishing in developmental or on superstars. Look at guys who started their career as primarily tag team guys who became legit main eventers in WWE the list is impressive. Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, Eddie Guerrero, Bret Hart, Edge, Booker T, Christian. That's one hell of a list. Tag team wrestling also serves as a good change of pace from standard singles matches and guys who normally team together put those matches on much better than two singles wrestlers teaming against two other singles wrestlers.

4. Cut the "Divas" division and make it a real women's division. The WWE seems to like to have their women be models first and wrestlers second. In some rare cases this works like Trish Stratus and...well...umm Trish Stratus, but seriously it's terrible to watch. There are so many talented women's wrestlers out there who I'd love to see wrestle instead of Kelly Kelly and the Bella twins. I would make Beth Phoenix the focus of the women's division and build the rest of the talent around her. Raid Shimmer for some of their best talents (Cheerleader Melissa, Nikki Roxx etc.). I feel like if the women's division had legit talent and not just some pretty faces with fake tits the matches would stop being glorified bathroom breaks.

5. After Wrestlemania give John Cena the summer off. The man has done it all, he's faced and beaten everyone, won every title and accomplished every feat. I'd send him home and tell him to take three months off and let the other guys develop without him being the ceiling to hold everyone else down. If the WWE would be too concerned with losing merchandise from his absence then I would give him some sort of storyline "injury" and make him the commissioner or something to keep his ass on TV without being in the main event.

5
Sports Discussion / Fantasy Football 2010
« on: June 21, 2010, 03:44:31 PM »
So are we going to have a league this year?

6
Rules Forum / Houston, Texas
« on: June 02, 2010, 06:58:47 PM »
I've got a few questions about this venue.

Does it occur immediately or at the end of the pre-match phase? If the latter do I still discard if the six I have plus my hand size is still less than the cards he gets after the discard plus his hand size? Also if the first option in my first question if I go through all six and either don't get a non-hybrid reversal or get one on the last card does that mean all six of mine get discarded?

Final question is about Interest of Fairness (TB), am I allowed to get the effect of forcing my opponent to shuffle 2 reversals even if I have no cards in my hand?

7
Classic Raw Deal / Tornado Tag Question
« on: June 02, 2010, 12:08:21 AM »
More specifically regarding enforcer superstars. I know that they do not get to pack enforcers and the other superstar counts as their enforcer. My question is since the other superstar counts as the enforcer does this apply to the hand size and superstar value? EX. Teddy Long (+1/+0) with Kurt Angle (6/3). Is the team's hand size 6+1/2 = 3.5 rounded up to 4 with a superstar value of 3/2 = 1.5 rounded up to 2 or is it (6+1) + 6/2 = 6.5 rounded up to 7 with a superstar value of (0+3) + 3/2 = 3?

8
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Wired 5-13-10
« on: May 12, 2010, 07:53:27 PM »

Joey Styles: Here we are with another edition of CWA Wired!
Christopher Nowinski: Don't you ever get tired of being so annoying?
Joey Styles: ...

Triple Threat
Kris Yuthakon vs James Altraz vs Drew McIntyre

James Altraz refuses to enter the ring and sends Delirious in to take his spot in the match. Kris Yuthakon takes over using his size to dominate the smaller opponents early on in the match. He nails Delirious with a particularly stiff kick which sends him out of the ring and to the floor below. The Hybrid then begins smashing Drew McIntyre into oblivion with a powerful series of strikes. Eventually he locks him in the Payback! McIntyre is just about to tap out when suddenly SHADOWS OVER HELL! Delirious nailed Yuthakon in the back! Delirious rolls McIntyre over and pins 1..2..3!

Winner: Delirious

Christopher Nowinski: That genius move by Altraz pays off.
Joey Styles: The Hybrid caught a tough break. He probably should have won there. Next up is Joey Cilo vs one half of the tag team champions Sean Storm.

Singles
Joey Cilo vs Sean Storm

Joey Cilo attempts to use his weight advantage to keep Sean Storm in close, but Storm is too quick and evades all of Cilo's attempts to lock up. Cilo rushes in and is hit with a perfect arm drag by Sean. Joey is frustrated and charges back in to get hit with a high drop kick! Cilo rolls under the bottom sore to regain his composure, but Sean Storm hits him with a flying body press! The referee begins his count 1..2..3..4..5 Sean Storm gets up..6..7 and rolls in...8..Cilo hops to his feet..9..and just beats the ten count back in. Sean Storm stomps on his back and then locks in a camel clutch! Joey struggles and strains under the pressure...eventual ly he stands up and rams Sean Storm into the corner turnbuckle! Both men are flat out and stay down for several moments. They both get up about the same time and Cilo charges ACE HIGH KICK...NO! Storm ducks and Cilo hits the mat...ROLLING BOSTON CRAB! Cilo is stuck right in the middle of the ring and has no choice but to submit!

Winner: Sean Storm

Joey Styles: What a display of athleticism by Sensational Sean Storm.

Singles
Teddy Hart w/Fabien Kaelin vs Shawn Cortez

Teddy Hart stands in the ring and Shawn Cortez's music hits, but no one comes out. He wins the match by forfeit.

Winner: Teddy Hart

A throbbing bass line kicks in, instantly recognizable as "Animal I Have Become." The next match is about to start, and Dilbert makes his way down to ringside. And he's not alone.

Dilbert: Thank you, all, for attending our annual staff retreat. We have a lot to attend to before we can break for lunch, so if you'd all take your seats, and someone can put the Powerpoint slides up on the projector there, we'll get started.

Christopher Nowinski: Oh, just wonderful. Joseph, can you tell me just what in the world he's rambling on about? Or, perhaps, could my associates please come down here to settle this matter?

Joey Styles: Not only can't I tell you, Chris, I wouldn't, in no small part because my name's Joey, not Joseph! You claim to have a Harvard education, so you should at least be capable of remembering that much.

Dilbert: *glares at Nowinski* As I was saying. My associate here has asked me to introduce him, not that he needs introduction. Take a bow, Tony.

While that's going on, the Powerpoint presentation starts up on the Tron.

Dilbert: Ah, that's better. Here, we can clearly see the beginning of our current market trend: Ted and Mike DiBiase getting involved in my match on Wired. You'll notice in this next slide that I am out of the ring, walking back to the locker room. This, of course, is in no small part the DiBiases' doing.

Christopher Nowinski: And yet it's a bare shadow of what they'll do here tonight!

Dilbert: Mr. Nowinski, I suggest you not interrupt me. Tony's not a huge fan of interruptions.

Tony rolls out of the ring and moves over to the announce table to stare down Chris Nowinski. Oddly, Chris seems to develop a sudden and severe case of laryngitis at this moment, to the great delight of Joey Styles, Dilbert, and the great majority of the crowd.

Dilbert: Now, in these next slides, we see a repeated pattern. I stand in the ring, involved in a match, the DiBiases come down, they attack me, I whip their asses for a while, then the numbers game catches up. *He flips through several slides showing exactly that.* Now, the numbers game isn't one I enjoy playing. I've dealt with Arthur Andersen before; I know that if you put financial statements on Dancing With The Stars, they'd run rings around Emmitt Smith. I like my numbers nice and simple... like two on two.

Tony and I have a little proposition for you schmucks. No Nowinski. No Ashley Lane. No personal security guards, no Dobermans, no lawyers, no outside interference whatsoever. Just the two of you, the two of us, and a referee to make sure we stop when Tony starts slipping on your blood. Problem is, we can't trust you not to get help involved. How, pray tell, might we keep your friends out, and us in?

One last slide: blue metal bars, ramrod straight, in a lattice.

Dilbert: Ah, yes. That would fit the bill nicely. You two, vs. the two of us, in a CAGE MATCH! This may come as a bit of a shock to you, I know. You don't need to answer us now; after all, it may take a couple weeks for the words "cage match" to process in those empty caverns you're carrying on your necks. But the offer stands. Any place you like, any time you like, Ms. Stratus can bring the ring and the bars. You bring the tackling dummies, and we'll bring the righteous vengeance you have coming to you. What do you say, punks?

The DiBiase Brothers enter with Ashley Lane and don't acknowledge the challenge by Dilbert and Tony in the slightest bit. Mike rolls in the ring and is eager to get a start on the match.

Singles
Mike DiBiase w/Ashley Lane & Ted DiBiase Jr. vs Dilbert w/Tony

Mike charges in for a lariat, but Dilbert dodges and rolls DiBiase up 1..2..3!

Winner: Dilbert

Christopher Nowinski: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!
Joey Styles: YES! YES! YES!

Mike DiBiase is furious and starts attacking Dilbert! Tony slides into the ring and crushes him with a devastating pump kick! Ted Jr. rolls him and grabs his brother to make for their escape. As they get to the top of the ramp Ted Jr. grabs a microphone.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: You want a cage match?! Well you've got it!

Tag Team
CM Punk & John Bradshaw Layfield vs Alpha & Gavin Payne

JBL starts off in the ring with Gavin Payne and begins working him over using his strength to toss him around the ring like a sack of potatoes! Eventually he whips him off the ropes and Payne counters with a cross body block..no! He's caught and is nailed with a Fall Away Slam! Payne stumbles to his feet and staggers back towards his ropes, Alpha blind tags him just before CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! JBL makes the cover, but the referee doesn't count. Alpha picks JBL up and hits him with the Euthanasia! Instead of pinning him he throws JBL into his own corner. CM Punk laughs as if he is supposed to tag in, but refuses. Alpha rushes over and grabs Punk's hand. Punk struggles, but Alpha uses Punk's own arm to tag him in. He then pulls Punk over the top rope with a hard landing. Punk is slow to get up and when he does he sees Alpha charging towards him...ALPHA STRIKE! 1..2..3!

Winners: Alpha and Gavin Payne

9
Fantasy Cards / Christopher Nowinski
« on: April 30, 2010, 09:10:42 PM »
Christopher Nowinski
HS: 5
SSV: 0
Superstar Ability:
Your arsenal may only contain forty cards. Your opponent can not play reversals of 2D or greater for his hand or ringside pile. If your opponent plays the card Debilitating Injury: Concussion he wins the game via pinfall victory. You may pack the card titled "Tough Enough."
RMS Logo

Nowinski's Face Mask
Backstage Card
Unique

When this card is revealed once per turn you may randomly select one card in your opponent's hand. Your opponent reveals the card to you and puts it back into his hand.  

You may hide this card and shuffle cards from your ringside pile into your arsenal equal to the number of cards in your opponent's ring area. This effect ignores any superstar ability or card preventing cards being moved from the ringside pile.

WWE's Only Harvard Graduate
Pre-Match Card

At the end of all pre-match phases select one of the following: he randomly shuffles # cards from his hand into his Arsenal, where # is equal to the number of cards in his hand greater than the number of cards in your hand, he removes cards from the top of his arsenal equal to the number of pre-match cards in his ring area or your non-reversal cards which are removed from the game from any location instead go to the bottom of your arsenal.

Unique
F: 0
D: 0

Harvard Buster
Grapple + Grapple

When successfully played you may shuffle cards equal to the number of reversals in your opponent's ring area into your arsenal or put one card that is removed from the game into your hand.

Unique
F: 10
D: 10

The Harvard Jacket
Action/Reversal: Special

As an action your opponent may discard any number of cards and the damage of this card is reduced by two for each card he discards.

As a reversal this is -10 F. When overturned from your arsenal completely reverse any effect from any-non maneuver(even if it can not be reversed.) This card is then removed from the game.

Unique
F: 10
D: 10

Honor Roll
Mid-Match Trademark Finisher

When successfully played you win the game via pinfall victory. Your opponent may discard five mid-match cards or remove his ringside pile from the game to reverse this maneuver.

Unique
F: 40
D: 0
RMS Logo

I think I did a Nowinski one before, but that was not well thought out. I really like this idea. I'm sure some of it may need to be changed for balance issues, but I believe I weighted most of it to be fair and balanced.

10
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Shockwave
« on: April 26, 2010, 11:40:33 PM »

Joey Styles: Here we are for CWA Shockwave! The first pay-per-view in the history of the promotion!
Christopher Nowinski: Yes, the time for the real stars to shine. Like the Straight Edge Savior CM Punk and the DiBiase Brothers!
Joey Styles: Here is our first match between Chris Jericho and "Simply" Shawn Cortez.

Submission Singles Match
Chris Jericho w/Jason Myles vs Shawn Cortez

Cortez gains control early with an array of different holds and throws. Jericho is tired of getting tossed around and rolls out of the ring. Shawn follows him and gives chase around the ring. Y2J notices this and slides back into the ring. As Cortez follows he is ambushed by Jericho who starts beating him down with axe handles to the back! Jericho starts working on the lower back region with boots to the spine! He then lifts up and throws Shawn into the corner turnbuckle and hits him with shoulders to the gut! Jericho goes for a running splash, but Cortez moves out of the way. Chris staggers towards the middle of the ring T-Bone suplex! Out of instinct Shawn goes for a pinfall, but the referee reminds him that this is a submission only match. Cortez lifts Jericho up, but is raked in the eyes setting up a one handed bulldog! Jericho quickly transitions into the Lionsault! Jericho tries to capitalize by going for the WALLS...NO! Cortez counters into IT'S SIMPLY OVER! He wrenches down on Jericho's leg as he screams in pain, but Chris manages to grab onto the bottom rope to break the hold. Shawn Cortez gets back to his feet and tries lifting Jericho up...LOW BLOW! Y2J uses a dirty trick to bring Cortez down to his knees. The referee can not do anything because this match can only end in submission. Jericho shoves Cortez down and locks in the WALLS OF JERICHO! He brings him into a high angle and puts his knee into the back of Shawn's head. Cortez refuses to tap, but the pressure keeps building and eventually he has no choice but to slap on the mat!

Winner: Chris Jericho

Joey Styles: That's just wrong!
Christopher Nowinski: Jericho won fair and square because he is the best in the world at what he does.

#1 Contender's Singles Match
Dilbert vs John Bradshaw Layfield

Dilbert uses his quickness to get an early edge over Bradshaw. He keeps his distance and lands kicks to JBL's legs trying to wear down the base of his larger opponent. Eventually he gets too close and John catches his leg and brings him in for a short arm clothesline! JBL now slows down the pace of the match and slaps Dilbert into a bear hug! Dilbert struggles, but does not gain much ground and starts to fade away. The referee raises his arm...it falls, again and it falls, once more...but no! This time he starts rallying and the crowd claps to help him counter. Eventually Dilbert throws his weight forward knocking JBL into the ring ropes and breaking the hold. Dilbert tries to mount an offensive, but his back is hurting from the bear hug and he falls to one knee. As he rises up he sees JBL running right towards him....CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Dilbert swiftly ducks and Bradshaw nails the referee! JBL turns around right into a kick to the gut and the FINAL TALLY! Dilbert lays on top of him and the crowd counts, but it's no use the referee is out of it. Suddenly Mike DiBiase and his brother Ted Jr. come rushing down to the ring. They double team Dilbert who puts up a valiant fight, but is overwhelmed by the numbers. Ted Jr. catches him into DREAM STREET! The two of them drag JBL on top of Dilbert and rouse the referee before fleeing the scene. The official sees the pinfall and counts 1..2...3!

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

Joey Styles: Damn it! Why did they have to get involved!?
Christopher Nowinski: This is starting off to be the greatest Pay-Per-View ever!

The DiBiase Brothers begin making their entrance to the ring with the Million Dollar Tag Championship belts in hand. As they are about half way down to the ring Dilbert and a short stocky man sprint out from backstage and ambush them from behind. The two attackers quickly dominate the DiBiases and the new individual rams Ted Jr. head first into the steel guardrail. Dilbert grabs Mike and does the Cubicle Driver off the entrance ramp to the floor! Both DiBiases are completely laid out! Ashley Lane goes to slap Dilbert but he catches her hand and seems like he is about to retaliate when Christopher Nowinski starts coming up the entrance ramp! Dilbert and his associate run towards him and begin beating the hell out of Nowinski! The two eventually throw him into the steel ring steps and leave him out. The DiBiases and Nowinski are escorted to the back as the match begins.

Joey Styles: That was fun!

CWA Canadian Tag Team Championship
Four Team Ladder Match
Sean Storm and Raven (C) vs Jarek Mace and Keldon Bloodsword vs Ted DiBiase Jr. and Mike DiBiase vs Joey Cilo & Drew McIntyre

All six individuals start off brawling at a break neck pace in the center of the ring. Fists and kicks are flying at a tremendous speed. Eventually Joey Cilo slips out of the ring and grabs a ladder. He slides back in with it and cleans house! He knocks everyone except his partner down and the two set up the ladder. Just as Joey goes to climb it Drew stops him. Apparently McIntyre thinks he should climb. The two of them start arguing until Keldon comes in and knocks their heads together! Raven comes in from behind and nails Keldon with a chair! Jarek slides back in and the two of them starting brawling right out of the ring! Sean Storm is next in and finds a ladder perfectly set up for him. He begins making his way up but just before he gets to the top he sees Joey Cilo standing below him. Storm leaps off for a flying body press! Drew McIntyre is now up and begins scaling the ladder as well. Slowly he reaches the top and begins going for the titles! Suddenly Keldon is behind him and grabs him by the neck! CHOKESLAM from the ladder! Both men are out cold. On the outside of the ring Raven his the EVENFLOW on Jarek Mace! Raven rolls into the ring and goes up the ladder. He gets to the top and has his hands on the belt. Out of seemingly nowhere Joey Cilo punches him in the face! Joey snuck up the other side of the ladder on him. Raven and Joey begin trading punches back and forth. The crowd explodes when they see Sean Storm standing on the apron outside the ropes behind Cilo. He springboards off the top rope and jumps on to the ladder right behind Joey Cilo! He grabs Cilo around the waist and German Suplexes him to the mat! Raven uses this to grab the belts and win the match.

Winners: Raven and Sean Storm

Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out.

Joey Styles: What the hell?  A power outage?  What's going on?

Screaming can be heard from in the ring.  Finally after a few tense moments, the lights come up to reveal the horrific sight.  Alyssa is on her knees in the corner, looking up to where the tag belts were hanging with tears in her eyes, still screaming.  The belts are no longer hanging by the hook.  Instead, there hangs Jarek by his feet.  His face is covered in blood and it drips below him onto a familiar sight.  Keldon tries to get back into the ring to help, but it kept at bay by two more figures, Jimmy Jacobs and Delirious.  Standing beneath Jarek, bathing in his blood, stand a newly reborn D2, now James Altraz.  His appearance is quite different than the early promo videos for the debut of CWA.  Gone is the long hair in favor of a shorter style with deep red highlights.  His eyes hold the gaze of a broken man lusting for revenge.  He wears long white pants and a white blazer over his shirtless torso.  The blood flows from Jarek's head and drips onto James, red splats and streaks flowing along his white blazer and pants.  He tilts his head back and takes some of the blood into his mouth, enjoying the torment.

Joey Styles:
  This...this is unreal.  This is disgusting.  Somebody needs to put a stop to this.

A few of the other guys in the match try to get involved and end the madness, but they are no match for a crazed Delirious and a spike weilding Jimmy Jacobs.  James takes a nearby microphone and stays under Jarek, staring straight at Alyssa.

James Altraz: Did you miss me honey?

Tears are flowing down Alyssa's face as she begs James to stop.  He simply smiles as he walks towards her, kneeling down in front of her.  Alyssa tries to back away, but James grabs her face.

James Altraz: What's wrong Alyssa?  Didn't expect to see me?  Why are you crying?  It's been so long Alyssa.

James has a sickly crazed grin on his face as Alyssa keeps struggling.  Her face is stained with Jarek's blood from James's hand.  He releases her and goes back to the center of the ring.

James Altraz: You see children, there was a good reason I decided to step away from CWA when it was first formed.  When I looked over the roster, I saw two names that stuck out to me. Alyssa and Jarek Mace.  To many of you, two people with a bright future.  But to me, two people who darkened mine.  I want to tell you people a story.  Three years ago, there were two happy people.  They loved each other more than life itself, and vowed to do anything the other asked.  They promised they would be together forever, so much so that they were engaged to be married.  Our happy groom had everything ready, the large chapel and giant reception they always wanted.  And so, it is time to say those sacred wedding vows.  Our groom is there, but something is missing.  His beautiful bride to be.  So they wait.  And they wait.  And they wait.  Until finally three hours later the rest of the chapel clears out as our happy groom is no longer so happy.  He stands at the altar long after everybody has left.  Wondering why.  Wondering where he went wrong.  Wondering where she went.  It was on that day our happy groom lost the one thing that kept him tethered to the normal outlook of sanity.  He lost the one thing that kept him from losing his own mind.  So he went into a deep, dark, downward spiral.  He begins to damage his body on the independent wrestling scene.  He takes deathmatches just so he can bleed and know the unfortunate truth that he is still living.  Until finally he gets a call about a job in Canada.  It's good money, and a way to possibly stop mutilating his body and hopefully move on with his life.  He packs his bags and gets ready to board the plane until he notices a few other names that will be involved in this job.  A young man named Jarek Mace, and a beautiful woman named Alyssa Mace.  A beautiful woman who destroyed the very fabric of our young hero's existence.

James grabs the spike from Jimmy and points it up to the unconcious body of Jarek.

James Altraz: This is what you threw away a four year relationship on?  This is what you threw my life away for?  I've always wondered what would happen if this day ever came.  And I now realize I want to savor it.  I want to enjoy it.  I want to get everything I can out of it.  Alyssa, you shattered my heart.  I'm going to shatter your life.  One.  Day.  At.  A.  Time.  My friend Jimmy Jacobs has taught me one thing.  Love doesn't save.  Nothing saves.

James drops the microphone as the production crew finally get the power to lower the cables holding Jarek in the air.  James motions to Delirious and Jimmy to leave.  But before leaving, James moves to Alyssa one last time, kneeling down and planting a soft kiss on her terrified forehead.

Joey Styles: Words can not describe how sickening what we have just seen is. I apologize to everyone who had to view that atrocity. That is not what the Canadian Wrestling Alliance is about. I am sure something will be put in place to prevent that from occurring in the future.

From the backstage area a damaged looking Christopher Nowinski begins hobbling his way back towards the ringside area to take back his color commentary position.

Christopher Nowinski: This is the worst night ever! Dilbert and his little fat friend will have hell to pay!
Joey Styles: Welcome back Chris, you are just in time for our main event of the evening.
 
CWA Canadian Heavyweight Championship
Singles Match
CM Punk vs Alpha

Alpha hops on Punk right out of the gate and begins punishing him with an array of punches from all sides. Fists are flying to Punk's body and face and pummeling him. CM Punk goes down and quickly rolls under the ring ropes and to the outside. Alpha hurriedly follows, but is cut off by Nick Brolic who is at ringside. Brolic goes to strike, but is hit with EUTHANASIA and goes down immediately! Punk meanwhile is back in the ring behind Alpha and leaps over the top rope and lands on him! The referee begins his count 1..2...3..4..5 Punk gets up and in the ring..6..7..8..Alph a gets to his feet..9..Alpha slides in just in time! Punk jumps on top of Alpha with a powerful boot to the side of the head. He then lifts him up and tosses him into the corner turnbuckle. Punk lines up and lands his running knee into a bulldog! 1..2..ALPHA KICKS OUT! Punk is furious at the referee for a perceived slow count and begins arguing with him.

This gives Alpha time to rise to his feet and he tries to attack Punk, but is nailed with a powerful round house kick which takes him down to one knee. Punk quickly executes two more body kicks and a devastating one right to the jaw! Another pinfall attempt 1..2...NO! Alpha will not stay down. Punk is not pleased at all and lifts him back up to his feet for more offense. He lifts Alpha onto his shoulders to set up for the GO TO SLEE...NO! Alpha wriggles free and lands behind Punk! He hits him with a barrage of fists before whipping him off of the ring ropes and hits THE ALPHA STRIKE! He hooks both legs 1...2..NO! Alpha can not believe Punk kicked out of his finishing maneuver! He is absolutely stunned! Alpha gets up and stalks Punk as he slowly rises to his feet. Once Punk stands up Alpha bounces off the ropes and lands another ALPHA STRIKE! Alpha hops on top of him and puts all of his weight on Punk's shoulders with both legs hooked 1..2..3!

Winner and NEW CHAMPION: Alpha

Joey Styles: Ladies and Gentlemen we have a new CWA Canadian Heavyweight Champion!
Christopher Nowinski: This is just awful! I can not believe it!
Joey Styles: That's it! Have a great night folks!

11
Archives / Authority Problems
« on: April 25, 2010, 11:16:28 PM »


The DiBiase Brothers and Ashley Lane are backstage in the designated promo area. Chris Nowinski is conspicuously missing, but they immediately jump into the promo anyway.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: This is unacceptable! We will not be treated like this! How dare Trish Stratus kick my brother and Ashley away from ringside during my match? This is absolutely ridiculous. We are the biggest stars this pathetic little company has and she's going to keep alienating us. This is not going to happen. We will not allow it. Our father is one of the main investors in this promotion. One call to him and we could have the whole damned thing shut down!

Mike DiBiase: Dilbert! You embarrassed my brother on Wired last week and it ends now!  On the next episode of Wired you are going to go one on one with and I'm going to beat your ass red! This pencil necked geek is going to learn the hard way you don't cross the big money!

Suddenly from the side of the screen Chris Nowinski comes in looking slightly dejected. He begins shaking his head in a negative manner before speaking.

Christopher Nowinski: I tried talking to that thick headed bimbo, but she could not comprehend what I was saying. Apparently she does not feel it's appropriate to cancel your match for Shockwave and put you into Dilbert's match against John Bradshaw Layfield. I'm really sorry, she's just impossible to deal with.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Don't worry about Christopher. We know who the real problem in this company is. It's that awful Trish Stratus. We are going to make her pay. As for the match tonight it is not even a concern. The CWA Canadian Tag Team belts are meaningless. The true championships in this promotion are around the waist of my brother and I. Besides just look at who are opponents are. This is not even going to be a contest. The two of us could win this match blindfolded. There's the Jersey trash we already took out to the dump. Then there is a loser and his Scottish buddy. Last and most definitely least is the so called "champions." Raven, a washed up garbage wrestler who is falling apart and his partner is supposed to be Lance Storm's boyfriend or something right?

Mike DiBiase: I think he's like his son or something.

Ashley Lane: Are you sure? I'm pretty sure he's limp wristed if you know what I mean.

Mike DiBiase: I honestly don't give a crap.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: It doesn't really matter though. The point is these guys are not on our level. It would probably...no it would assuredly be in their best interest to just go ahead and no show for the match. We can't be held responsible for the damage inflicted on your fragile bodies if you actually do try to face off against us.

Ted Jr. seems very pleased with himself and wraps his arm around Ashley as he walks away while Mike stares down the camera for several seconds before the screen fades away into darkness...

12
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Wired 4-12-10
« on: April 12, 2010, 08:32:59 PM »

Joey Styles: Here we are live with another exciting show you for CWA fans.
Christopher Nowinski: Of course it's exciting. The DiBiases are in the main event.
Joey Styles: ...moving along we have two debuting stars in our opening bout.

Singles Match
Jason Myles vs Shawn Cortez

The larger Jason Myles starts off in complete control wearing Shawn down with a variety of clubbing blows from his gigantic arms. He then pulls him in and hits a devastating short arm clothesline. 1..2..not yet! Myles shows a bit of anger at not getting the pinfall. He pulls Cortez off the mat and whips him into the ropes and nails a crushing snap powerslam! 1..2.KICKOUT! Again Cortez refuses to stay down and Jason is now visibly flustered by this he. He lifts Shawn up once again, but Cortez strikes back! He lands a swift high kick which staggers Myles and he then runs behind him for a chop block! This takes Myles to his knees, but he gets off favoring his right leg which Cortez grabs for a dragon screw! Jason's right leg is clearly hurt as Cortez tries to continue the offensive by mounting for a ground and pound, but the stronger Myles tosses him off and starts to rise to his feet. As he turns around Shawn is rushing right towards him, but is met with a right hook from Jason Myles which knocks him slightly back. Myles puts both of his hands around the throat of Cortez to set up the MYLE HIGH DR...NO! Shawn Cortez wriggles out as Myles' knee gives out on him. Shawn quickly grabs the right leg of Myles and locks in the IT'S SIMPLY OVER! Jason struggles to reach the ropes, but to no avail and he is forced to tap out!

Winner: "Simply" Shawn Cortez

Joey Styles: An impressive start for this newcomer to CWA! I can't wait to see how he does in the coming weeks.
Christopher Nowinski: He got lucky. He will get set straight soon enough!
Joey Styles: Now it's time for our second match of the evening.

Suddenly Trish Stratus' music begins to play and the owner of the Canadian Wrestling Alliance begins walking to the ring with an angered expression upon her face. She is holding a microphone and moving quickly as if she means business. The fans don't know how to react given her current demeanor.

Trish Stratus: I have to make a very disappointing announcement. One which all wrestling promoters hate to do. I am going to have to cancel the planned match up between CM Punk and Awesome Kong against Raven and Sean Storm. Apparently they think they can do as they please and just not show up to the arena. I have had it up to here with the antics they have exhibited in recent weeks and I am fed up with it. I am putting all of them on final notice. If they step out of line one more time they are going to be stripped of their respective titles and fired, that is if they can defend their titles at the CWA Pay-Per-View next week. It is going to be called Shockwave and there will definitely be some aftershocks coming from that event. At Shockwave, CM Punk will defend his title against the number one contender Alpha! Raven and Sean Storm will defend their tag team titles in a four team ladder match against the teams of Jarek Mace and Keldon Bloodsword, Joey Cilo and Drew McIntyre, and the self-proclaimed Million Dollar Champions the DiBiase Brothers. There will also be...

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN! Chris Jericho's music begins to play and out comes a visibly furious Chris Jericho sharply dressed in an all black suit!

Chris Jericho: Now what you have said is good and all, but you have failed to address the fact that my protege Jason Myles just got screwed in his match against some rookie! I demand to face Shawn Cortez at Shockwave so I can show him why I am the best in the world at what I do!

Trish Stratus: I don't like the fact that you think you can come down here and interrupt me, but I know a good match when I hear it. You will face Shawn Cortez on Shockwave in a submission match!

Jericho seems placated though not entirely pleased with this and the crowd prepares for the next match.

Joey Styles: Wow, what a huge announcement!
Christopher Nowinski: Yes! After Shockwave the DiBiase Brothers will have two sets of tag team championships!
Joey Styles: Somehow I doubt that. Anyway here is our next bout.

Triple Threat Match
Alpha vs Joey Cilo vs Nick Brolic

Alpha starts off hot and begins beating both of his opponents down with ease. Nailing each of them with damaging strikes and high impact grapple moves. Eventually he catches Joey Cilo in a bear hug and begins wearing him down until Nick Brolic comes up from behind and hits him with a double axe handle! Brolic then tosses Alpha through the ropes and to the floor. Cilo capitalizes on this and hits an explosive german suplex from behind! Brolic gets to his feet only to be met with the ACE HIGH KICKER! Brolic is out cold after that sickening kick to the face. Cilo taunts to the crowd then turns around to catch an ALPHA STRIKE! The force from the impact pushes Cilo right outside the ring and Alpha lays down on the incapacitated Nick Brolic for the 1..2..3!

Joey Styles: Alpha looks impressive once again with another victory!
Christopher Nowinski: He still has no chance against the Straight Edge Savior.
Joey Styles: Next up is a match that I have been looking forward to. Gavin Payne against John Bradshaw Layfield!

Gavin Payne enters first and is warming up in the ring when John Bradshaw Layfield's limousine pulls in at the top of the entrance ramp. The door opens and a half dozen men in suits come out before JBL does. The men are all holding briefcases and are clearly the lawyers Bradshaw said he would have with him this evening.

Singles Match
Gavin Payne vs John Bradshaw Layfield

Gavin Payne gets off to a quick start with precisely located strikes to wear down the body of his much larger opponent. JBL tries to punch back, but Gavin Payne is just a step quicker at every turn and keeps countering his moves. Eventually JBL fires a particularly strong punch which is caught...OBJECTION! 1..2.foot under the rope! JBL barely escaped losing right then and there. Gavin Payne continues his assault for several minutes before one of the lawyers leaps up onto the apron with an objection of his own. The referee confronts the out of place attorney while Gavin Payne sets JBL up for the Death Sentence! Just as he is about to lift him up another lawyer smacks Gavin in the back of the head with a briefcase! Payne staggers around while JBL quickly bounces off the ropes and hits a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! 1..2..3!

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

All of the lawyers and JBL begin stomping Gavin Payne down into the ground and beating him with their briefcases. Eventually they roll him out of the ring and Bradshaw picks Gavin Payne up. He kicks him in the stomach and powerbombs him through the announce table! JBL and his attorneys leave the scene in his limo while paramedics treat Gavin Payne for his injuries and cart him off on a stretcher.

Joey Styles: That was a cowardly assault after they screwed him out of the win!
Christopher Nowinski: Payne was trying to end JBL's career with that move he was setting up for. He deserved the punishment he received!
Joey Styles: That is outrageous!
Christopher Nowinski: Shut your mouth! It is time for the beatdown of the century!

Singles Match
Ted DiBiase Jr. w/Ashley Lane & Mike DiBiase vs Dilbert

Ted DiBiase Jr. has a wide grin across his face as he approaches the raging Dilbert. The two face off at the middle of the ring when suddenly Ted Jr. open palm slaps Dilbert who immediately recoils and cracks Ted Jr. in the face with a spinning kick! Dilbert goes crazy and puts DiBiase in the MEETING FROM HELL and starts twisting and contorting while almost frothing at the mouth with rage! The audience is going wild as Ted Jr. writhes in agony. He looks like he is about to tap at any second when Mike DiBiase jumps up on the apron and the referee comes over to stop him from interfering. Ashley Lane takes this chance to slide into the ring and kick Dilbert in the back of the head. Dilbert barely even reacts at first. He slowly releases his grip on Ted Jr. and rises to his feet. His eyes are burning as he stands up towering over Ashley as she slinks back towards the ropes. Dilbert suddenly snaps out and shoves her with his palm on her face forcing her between the ropes and to the floor. Ted Jr. who has somehow managed to crawl behind Dilbert low blows him! Dilbert goes down to his knees and DiBiase attempts to stand on rubber legs. Mike drops down from the apron and the ref is standing behind Ted Jr. who is wobbly when Dilbert rushes at him. Ted Jr. ducks and rolls out of the way causing Dilbert to crash into the referee who is out cold! Mike DiBiase, Ashley Lane and Christopher Nowinski all rush into the ring and begin beating down Dilbert. Eventually they lift Dilbert up and Mike slaps him in the Million Dollar Dream!

Out of nowhere Trish Stratus' music plays and she sprints down to the ring with a microphone in her hand.

Trish Stratus: Absolutely not! This is not happening on my show! Either get your asses out the ring and backstage right now or all of you are going to be fired! I don't care who your father is. This kind of behavior will not be tolerated. If you can not learn to accept that then security is going to escort you out of the building.

As she says this a dozen well built security guards begin filing onto the entrance ramp from the locker room area. Mike DiBiase and Ashley Lane reluctantly leave, vociferously complaining the whole way. While Christopher Nowinski slinks back to his color commentator's chair hoping no one notices him. The ringside area now clears out leaving Ted DiBiase Jr. struggling to reach his feet, with a dazed and now back to consciousness referee with Dilbert laid out in the middle of the ring.

Ted Jr. limps his way over and falls on top of Dilbert. 1..2..NO! Dilbert somehow mustered the strength to kick out! DiBiase can not believe it. He slowly lifts Dilbert up and tries to mount an offensive, but Dilbert breaks out and kicks him in the stomach. FINAL TALLY! 1..2..3!

Winner: Dilbert

Christopher Nowinski: THIS IS A FARCE!

Christopher Nowinski tosses his headset aside and rushes into the ring. He jumps Dilbert from behind and just gets hit with a FINAL TALLY! Ted DiBiase Jr. and Christopher Nowinski are both laid out in the ring with a furious Dilbert standing victorious in the ring.

Joey Styles:That...was the greatest thing I have ever seen.

13
Archives / Handicap Match
« on: April 11, 2010, 11:02:46 PM »




The CWA cameras are wandering backstage when a disturbance can be heard. As the camera moves closer the sounds become more distinct and seems to be several people engaged in a joyous celebration. Eventually the door to the DiBiase's locker room can be seen only partially closed. The door slides open further and the view moves inside to reveal Ted DiBiase Jr with one arm around Ashley Lane, Chris Nowinski opening a bottle of Dom Perignon and Mike DiBiase standing in the background with both arms crossed and a stern expression adorning his face. Nowinski pours the expensive champagne into four glasses and hands one to each of the others before taking one for himself.

Christopher Nowinski This is a most joyous occasion. A free victory handed to the latest in the fine pedigree of the DiBiase family. Putting you up against Dilbert in a singles match would be an easy bout against a jabroni, but in a three on one handicap match. That's just going to be a destruction the likes of which the world has not seen since Ghengis Khan's horde ran roughshod over the entirety of Asia and Eastern Europe. He will be so outmatched that I almost feel sorry for the poor piddling fellow. So what do you have to say about this glorious victory Ted?

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Obviously this is a gift to me from the CWA Management. That ignoramus Trish Stratus must have finally realized who the true stars in her company are. After giving us nothing but hassle since we have showed up she has now seen the light and given me the kind of match I deserve to compete in. Especially when the match is in the main event as it should be. This will be a great opportunity for the serfs out in the audience to catch a glimpse of the Million Dollar Tag Team Champions in action. Speaking of serfs, that is who my opponent will be. A pathetic gnat that slaves away in a tiny enclosed space for endless hours for a meager wage because he is not good enough as a wrestler to support himself in this field. I can't imagine how terrible that must be for him...because I would never be so destitute as to have to resort to such mindless drudgery. I could spend fortunes the likes of which none of you could comprehend and still have millions upon million left spread out between my many assets, accounts and portfolios. Now I must yield to the gorgeous Miss Ashley Lane for her comments.

Ashley Lane: I don't have much to add since you covered everything so well Ted. I would just like to remind Trish Stratus that she needs to stay away from our business. If booking this match is a white flag then by all means we accept. So long as you stay out of our affairs you may have your Vichy-like authority over this company. If you ever step out of line though we will crush you like the insect that you are!

A young and petrified looking intern steps into the scene and hands a note to Christopher Nowinski before quickly slipping away before being caught up in a bad situation. Christopher reads the note several times, puts his hand on his forehead and wrinkles his brow before speaking again.

Christopher Nowinski Apparently our friend Dilbert is even more mentally deficient than any of us ever thought he was. Mike he called you Ted's "baby brother." How ridiculous is that?

Mike DiBiase: WHAT?! That piece of crap! Dilbert! I am going to break your damned neck! Don't you ever go spreading lies about me you worthless son of a female dog! As a matter of fact I'm going to go slap the hell out of you right now!

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Whoa! WHOA! Mike...save it for the ring. We don't need you to go around and beat the tar out of him right now. While you easily could and he definitely deserves it. The beating would be much more satisfying when you do it in front of all of those savages out there who "relate to him" and cheer him on. Not only would you be shattering his spine, but you would also be crushing the dreams of each and every one of those maggots!

Mike DiBiase: That sounds...perfect.

Mike begins panting heavily with a burning rage in his eyes as he eyebrows begin twitching in anticipation of the beatdown that is surely to ensue.

14
Classic Raw Deal / Dealing with Backlash-era Rock
« on: April 07, 2010, 10:08:41 AM »
The title is self explanatory, but I'll give some more context. My friends and I recently "started over" with Raw Deal. We started with Premier and Fully Loaded and recently moved into Backlash/IAATG. I built a Stone Cold Steve Austin which was as close to dominant as a deck could be then. My matches rarely lasted more than four or five turns and I frequently ended games with Stunner while my opponent has 5 or less fortitude. Well then this nice little Backlash card came around which slowed me down a bit and now one of my friend's did what everyone said was a "dick move" and built a Rock deck. His basic strategy is Brahma Bull, oversell first move played by opponent, Dirty Low Blow, JR Style Slobberknocker to avoid actions if his opponent gets fortitude and then Clutch/Apply for his own fortitude while sitting behind an endless recursion cycle as the majority of his opponent's moves bounce off him for 1D. You basically have to draw his Managers out and midmatch out and hit him with your finisher to win. Which is hard to do since he hardly ever uses Manager of a non-trademark move and once you get more fortitude than him which you will if you have trademark fort you won't be able to play actions to recycle it. So my win percentage has effectively dropped from around 75% to around 30%. My other friend is planning on using a face christian to keep Rock's hand down, stop his actions and still have clutch reversals, which may work. Honestly the only two decks I can think of to use would be Brothers of Destruction (keep recurring high fortitude moves) or Right To Censor.

So any suggestions on how to deal with this pest.

15
Classic Raw Deal / Most personally frustrating moment in Raw Deal.
« on: March 30, 2010, 12:43:22 PM »
Which moment in Raw Deal did you personally shoot yourself in the foot in a frustratingly dumb way?

I have two from my personal experience both with my Randy Orton deck. The first was during a multi-man screwaround match with a couple of buddies. I kept throwing over the ropes to Euro (TB) and every single time it would get stopped somehow. I didn't get my venue off so I got Volley'd several times and then finally about eight turns into the match one finally goes through. I throw it at DX who to my best estimate has used all of his unique reversals or they are in the ringside pile. Once I direct the card at him I hear a soft thumping sound coming from his foot stomping on the carpet. At that exact moment I realize what I did wrong, but it was too late. SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Bye bye Randy Orton. I was so excited I finally got Over the Ropes off I completely forgot about that move and was eliminated.

The other time I was facing Batista and I got off to a quick start because I was throwing all strikes which he somehow didn't a pull a stopper for. His deck is getting thin so when he throws a maneuver I get all excited and drop down RKO! Uh yeah...forgot about Batista's ability. So I just wasted my trademark finisher which I would have gotten off next turn when I played another move all the way through. I ended up winning, but it was just stupid because I loved pulling off the RKO.

16
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Wired 3-29-10
« on: March 29, 2010, 09:58:27 PM »

Joey Styles: Hello, and welcome to another edition of CWA Wired!
Christopher Nowinski: Tonight we have an important announcement from the DiBiase Brothers and...other stuff.
Joey Styles: That "other stuff" includes an amazing tag team main event and this upcoming triple threat match.

Triple Threat Match
John Bradshaw Layfield vs Christopher Daniels vs AJ Styles

AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels attempt to team together on the much larger and stronger Bradshaw. For awhile this seems to work until JBL nails Styles with a strong fist to the face and then boots Daniels in the jaw! Styles staggers back, but runs in for a cross body block! NO! Bradshaw catches him and throws him overhead with a Fall Away Slam! Styles rolls under the bottom rope to the outside of the ring. JBL sees Daniels slowly rising to his feet and bounces off the opposite ropes...CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! He nearly took his head off with that one! 1..2..3!

Winner: John Bradshaw Layfield

Joey Styles: JBL looks like a man on a mission.
Christopher Nowinski: Well of course. He's a great businessman and even better wrestler.
Joey Styles: I won't argue with that.
Christopher Nowinski: You better not, but now is the time we have all been waiting for. The DiBiase Brothers are going to come out and address the crowd.

An all too familiar music hits on the speakers and the lighting tints green and gold over the arena. Mike DiBiase and Ted DiBiase Jr. begin to make their way down to the ring in their wrestling gear. Ted Jr. is holding a briefcase and seems quite pleased with himself. Meanwhile Mike looks like he is ready to snap at any moment and fight somebody. An overzealous fat man shouts a profanity at Mike who glares a hole right through his soul. He begins walking closer and the balding, fat Canadian trucker continues ranting at the elder DiBiase brother who is enraged. Suddenly Mike slaps the beer right out of the man's hand and tries hopping the barrier, but security gets in between the two of them just in time to prevent a fist fight. Ted pats his brother on the back and reassures him that their announcement is too important to be stopped but such nonsense. They eventually make their way into the ring to find a podium set up where Ted rests his briefcase so it is displayed toward the hard camera. Someone then hands him a microphone and he begins to address their crowd who is already making their displeasure known.

Ted DiBiase Jr:. Yeah that's right boo me. Boo me because that is what you people do best. When you see someone who is better than you instead of going out and bettering yourself you give in to your petty jealousies and boo that person. That is why I am who I am and you are the living scum that you are.

The fans give more heat and begin throwing concessions into the ring.

Mike DiBiase: Stop it! I said stop it right now or I will come into the stands and beat the hell out of each and every single one of you! I have already shown I am willing to do that, so shut your mouths!

They begin a chant of "bring it on!" and Ted has to hold Mike from rushing out of the ring to fight the CWA fans.

Ted DiBiase Jr:. Ignore them. They are just a bunch of ingrates. We have an announcement to make and we won't let you distract us from that any longer. You see contained within this briefcase is a legacy, a tradition, an honor bestowed upon us by the only man capable of doing so. There is more than a mere object in here, but a meaning deeper than any of you could possibly comprehend. Last week we showed that we are too good to be the champions of this puny little organization. Instead we are the Million Dollar Tag Team Champions!

The two brothers open the briefcase to reveal two exact replicas of their father's Million Dollar Belt! They hold them up for all to see and then wrap them around their waists.

Christopher Nowinski: What a glorious day it is!
Joey Styles: Can they do that?
Christopher Nowinski: They just did.
Joey Styles:Alright, well anyways moving on our next match is featuring the DiBiase's still in the ring and their partner Ashley Lane against the Mace's and their best friend Keldon Bloodsword.

Six Man Mixed Tag Match
Jarek Mace, Keldon Bloodsword and Alyssa Mace vs Mike DiBiase, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Ashley Lane

Jarek starts in the ring with Ted Jr. and Jarek looks in top shape right off the bat. He hits a series of strong strikes until Ted counters with a back rake! This gives Ted an irreversible clothesline! Ted whips Jarek into his corner where Mike begins choking Jarek using the tag rope. The ref yells at him to quit and Mike releases him. The ref continues to scold while Ted low blows Jarek! Mace goes down and Ted begins to systematically stomp every limb on his body! Ted then rushes towards Keldon and boots him off the apron and into the ringside barrier! Jarek is just beginning to rise and DiBiase sneaks up behind for DREAM...NO! Jarek runs him back into his corner to stop the move. Alyssa slaps Jarek on the arm and tags herself in. She stomps Ted a couple of times in the stomach before throwing him into the opposite corner turnbuckle. Ashley tags herself in and runs right into arm drag! Then another, and another! Lane is clearly dizzy from being thrown around and wanders right into a boot to the stomach and Alyssa lifts her up to set up her finish...BIMBO BREAKER! Alyssa quickly goes for the cover, but the ref doesn't count because Mike did a blind tag on Ashley just before the move! Mike sprints in and viciously stomps Alyssa in the back of the head. He then quickly follows up and lifts her into the Million Dollar Dream! She struggles, but Alyssa is way overpowered by Mike DiBiase who holds down on her with all of his might. Eventually Alyssa is forced to relinquish and tap out!

Winners: Mike DiBiase, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Ashley Lane

Christopher Nowinski: They did it! They did it! The good guys win again!
Joey Styles: I bet you are real proud of Mike DiBiase for what just happened aren't you?
Christopher Nowinski: Of course I am.
Joey Styles: That is just sickening. Such reprehensible behavior...wait I am getting word that something is going on backstage!

In the backstage area Nick Brolic and Stevie Richards are ambushing Raven. They are punching and kicking him as hard they can. The three start making their way down a hallway where Raven is slammed head first into a door! Brolic and Richards are in complete control when a chair hits Richards in the back! Sean Storm comes out ready to take them both down! Security rushes in and splits the four of them up, but the situation looks like it could explode at any moment. From the other side Trish Stratus walks in between the group looking quite angry.

Trish Stratus: No...no...no! This is not going to happen on my show. It's bad enough we had an ambush on the last show it is not going to happen again. I am not going to let this whole roster go out of control. So I am kicking you all out of the ring tonight. You will all take forfeit losses in your matches. You are welcome back next week, but right now you need to get out!

All four protest angrily but the pleas fall on deaf ears. Security escorts them out of the building and Trish addresses the camera.

Trish Stratus: Alpha, I realize this leaves you without a match this week, but you have proven yourself to be a worthy competitor and in light of how your title match ended last week; I am naming you the number one contender to the Canadian Championship Belt!

Joey Styles: Wow, Trish lays down the law! Good for her.
Christopher Nowinski: That...hussy! She is going to regret doing that. When our Straight Edge Savior shows up next week he will not be pleased.
Joey Styles: I don't think she cares how CM Punk feels.
Christopher Nowinski: and that is the problem!
Joey Styles: This is it, our main event of the evening.

Tag Match
Chris Jericho and Joey Cilo vs Gavin Payne and Dilbert

Joey Cilo begins in the ring with Dilbert and jumps the bell to start the punishment. He mounts on top and goes for the full mount, but Dilbert gets out of it and the two get back to their feet. Dilbert comes in, but is hit with a brutal T-Bone suplex for his efforts. 1..2.too early to attempt the cover and Dilbert kicks out. Frustrated by this Cilo pick Dilbert up and drags him over to the corner and smashes his head into the turnbuckle to tag in Chris Jericho is continues the assault. The two trade places and hold control of the match for several minutes with swift tags as they work the neck and shoulders of the Dilbert. Chris Jericho is now in the ring with him and hits a running bulldog! This sets Dilbert up perfect for the Lionsaul...KNEES TO THE GUT! Both men are hurting, but it's Jericho who gets to his feet first. Jericho tries to lift Dilbert up but gets kicked in the gut! FINAL TALLY! That took all of the energy Dilbert had to perform and both men are completely out of it. They slowly work their way to their feet and struggle to the middle of the ring where they are leaning on each other. Eventually Jericho irish whips Dilbert into the ropes, Gavin Payne reaches out and slaps Dilbert's back unbeknown to Jericho who uses the rebound momentum of Dilbert to throw him over the top rope on the far side of the ring. Jericho then crumples down to one knee content to take the count out victory.

Y2J suddenly looks up to see Payne smiling in front of him before delivering a sick kick to the face. He attempts the pin 1..2..NO! Jericho somehow musters the energy to kick out and Payne can not believe it. He expresses his frustration at the kickout to the crowd who sympathize with him as they thought it was over too. Payne slowly lifts Jericho up who seems like completely dead weight when out of nowhere CODEBREAKER! Both men are down and Jericho slowly inches towards his corner where he desperately needs to tag in Joey Cilo. Joey has his hand extended out when suddenly he spots Dilbert rising to his feet outside the ring by him and jumps down off the apron to begin brawling with Dilbert! The two men keep trading fists all the way up the entrance ramp and disappear backstage. Jericho gets to his corner only to realize no one is there. His face shows an expression of shock and horror. He can't believe there is no one for him to tag. Y2J slowly gets up to his feet and turns around to see Gavin Payne standing directly behind him. Payne lifts Jericho up into the military press position for THE VERDICT! 1..2..3!

Winners: Gavin Payne and Dilbert

Joey Styles: What an amazing match. Credit must be given all of them they out on a heck of a performance.
Christopher Nowinski: The wrong team won. I don't know what came over Joey Cilo. He lost focus.
Joey Styles: That's it for tonight. Tune in next week!

17
Archives / Taking Out The Jersey Trash
« on: March 25, 2010, 10:06:22 PM »


A camera moves backstage with Christopher Nowinski leading the way. He's wearing a navy suit jacket over a white shirt with a Harvard Crimson tie over khaki dress slacks as he navigates the corridors of the Canadian Wrestling Alliance locker room area. Eventually he reaches a pre-designated interview area which is filled with Jeremy Borash interviewing some undercard wrestlers for a webcast. Christopher gives the group a stern glance and shoos them off quickly. They don't even question this action as they know what is purpose is, to interview the incomparable DiBiase brothers. Christopher sets up in front of the camera and shows off his trademark arrogant grin as Ted Jr. and Mike DiBiase come in from the camera's right.

Christopher Nowinski Welcome to the interview my friends. For those of you out in television land who may not know, even though you should, this is Ted DiBiase Jr. and his older brother Mike DiBiase. They are the latest wrestlers in the DiBiase wrestling family. A heritage which implies only the finest pedigree for these wonderful competitors. This week you are in a rather interesting match up, would you like to enlighten these buffoons about this?

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Would I like to? Absolutely not. Quite frankly they do not deserve an explanation from someone such as myself. However, because the sound of my own voice suits me I will give them the privilege of hearing me speak. So our match this week is well...different, but that's just how we do things. We are teaming up with Ashley Lane against a couple of scumbags from New York's trash bin. It is a rather unique format though, I think you have something you want to say about it right Mike?

Mike DiBiase: Yes actually there is something I have been meaning to say about this contest. The rules clearly state that men and women can face off in the ring at the same time. So I have to tell that Jersey dyke that I have no problem beating the hell out of a woman. Don't expect me to relent or take it easy on you when we are in the ring together. In fact you should plan on me ratcheting it up a notch just so I can have the pleasure of hearing you scream in agony!

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Yeah, we are a progressive bunch you know. We believe in treating women equally which means handing them out equal punishment in the ring. Speaking of women, here is our partner for the evening. The lovely Ashley Lane!

Ashley Lane: Well thank you Ted for the introduction. It's not every day a lady can get introduced to a national television audience by a man as esteemed as yourself. Especially in a wretched place like this. I mean this whole country is just really a terrible place. It's almost spring and it's still below freezing here! That is just unacceptable. I guess that's why they play that goofy sport with the sticks on ice.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Hockey?

Ashley Lane: No, curling. It's just stupid. A bunch of overweight pancake eaters tossing around a rock on ice and some other guys brushing the ice with brooms. What in the hell is that about? It makes no sense. It's like bowling, shuffleboard mixed together on ice. GAH, I hate these Canadians!

Christopher Nowinski Ashley, do you have any thoughts about the match?

Ashley Lane: No, I really don't. Why should I? Last week Ted actually eliminated someone from their tag team match unlike the losers we are facing and while we are speaking of losers look at Alyssa. Last week she was the so-called "favorite" in her match against me and I beat her easily with my newly debuted finisher. You crossed into the Wrong Lane you hussy and I put you back in your place. This week is just going to be more of the same. In fact with all the champions being crowned last week you might as well call me CWA's Women's Champion! Since we know there aren't any other women in this company who are going to cross me.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Well said Ms. Lane. I would also like to remind everyone that my brother Mike and I have an important announcement for the show. It is going to be earth-shattering, jaw dropping and basically the greatest thing to ever appear on television...ever!

Mike DiBiase: It will be the greatest thing until I choke the life out of every single one of our opponent's in our match. That will surpass our announcement in greatness. Just feeling the energy slowly drain from the body of someone in my grasp...it's just overwhelming some times. It's the perfect sensation...it is beautiful.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: ...wow, sometimes you even scare me.

Mike DiBiase: Good.

Ashley Lane: So, you guys said you had a plan to get back at Trish Stratus for the disrespect she showed to me on the first show. What exactly was that now?

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Oh, yes that is actually what our announcement is going to be about, but we can't discuss that here. So I guess we're going to have to take our leave Christopher.

The three teammates begin heading out together. Mike seems in some kind of trance as he mentally prepares for the upcoming battle in the ring. Meanwhile Ted Jr. and Ashley are close together whispering their plan. Ashley giggles and Ted Jr. puts his arm around her as they disappear around a corner. The camera then turns back to Christopher Nowinski.

Christopher Nowinski Well, you heard it here first. The DiBiase brothers and Ashley Lane are going to clean up CWA of that group of despicable vagrants once and for all tonight. I can't wait personally because it will make the locker room smell a lot better.

18
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Wired Card (5-30-10)
« on: March 15, 2010, 09:28:28 PM »
Singles
Simply Shawn Cortez vs Chris Jericho

Tag Team
Nick Brolic & Steven Richards vs Raven and Sean Storm

Triple Threat
Gavin Payne vs Kris Yuthakon

Singles
Ted DiBiase Jr. w/Ashley Lane & Mike DiBiase. vs Tony w/Dilbert

Singles
Alpha vs James Altraz
JBL as guest color commentator

Deadline: Sunday, May 30th at 9:00 PM EST.

19
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Wired (3-14-10)
« on: March 14, 2010, 11:45:37 PM »

Joey Styles: Welcome everyone to the very first edition of CWA Wired! I am Joey Styles accompanied by my broadcast partner Christopher Nowinski!
Christopher Nowinski: Joey from now on when you say my name I would like you to refer to me as Harvard Alumnus Christopher Nowinski!
Joey Styles: No, moving on though we have our first match in the tournament to crown our very first Canadian Heavyweight Champion!

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match A
John Bradshaw Layfield vs CM Punk

JBL seems uneasy that CM Punk is accompanied to the ring by two other people, but quickly shoves those thoughts out of his mind and gets down to business. Punk goes for a leg kick, but Bradshaw just absorbs it into his thick frame and nails the Straight Edge Savior with a clubbing blow to the side of the head which knocks him over. Mr. Layfield goes on the offensive using his size to land a series of powerful strikes as he takes control of the match. Punk is really getting off to a poor start while John continues to land high powered strikes on him for several minutes. Eventually he whips Punk off the ropes and CM Punk goes for a cross body block, but he's caught! JBL takes him overhead for a devastating Fall Away Slam! He starts to set up for the Clothesline from Hell while the referee checks on Punk just as John gets ready to take off Steven Richards grabs his foot! JBL turns around to see what is going on when Punk leaps up and hits him with a forearm shot to the back! Punk has a second wind as he stomps on JBL before lifting him up and tossing him into the corner turnbuckle! He builds up a head of steam and hits a high knee into a running bulldog! CM Punk pumps up with JBL rises off his feet and gets ready to set up for the GTS! Just as he tries to grab him Bradshaw nails him with a sickening elbow to the face. JBL runs off the ropes and CLOTHESLINE FROM....NO! Punk ducks under his arm! Bradshaw turns around immediately and is struck with a high kick to the temple and falls forward right into Punk's grasp as he leverages him onto his shoulders. GO TO SLEEP! 1..2..3!

Winner: CM Punk

Joey Styles: I'm not too sure about the pure intentions of CM Punks and his friends.
Christopher Nowinski: Cease that talk now Styles. Straight Edge is here to stay. I love JBL, but he just ran into an unstoppable force tonight.
Joey Styles: Whatever you say, next up is Chris Jericho and Gavin Payne.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match B
Chris Jericho vs Gavin Payne

Gavin Payne starts off a house of fire rolling with chops as the crowd goes WOO! Jericho's chest is burning red and he rolls under the bottom rope for a breather. The crowd gives him heat until Gavin comes out after him. Jericho notices this and immediately slides back in the ring. When Gavin proceeds back in Jericho ambushes him with a double axe handle and begins controlling the pace. He keeps it slow and on the ground and he wrenches down with a camel clutch. Payne shows no pain as he holds in tight with no sign of tapping out. Chris grows tried of it and relents the hold only to start stomping on the back of his opponent. Clearly he's got the Walls of Jericho in mind weakening that area. He picks up Gavin and nails him with a crushing backbreaker but holds on and begins stretching his body over his knees for several seconds before dropping him to the ground. Jericho taunts for the fans awhile until he notices Gavin getting back up to his feet. Chris rushes in and hits a one handed bulldog! We all know what's coming next...LIONSAULT! 1..2..NO! Gavin Payne kicks out and Jericho seems frustrated. He argues the count speed with the referee. Growing tired of this he moves back towards his opponent and grabs both legs setting up for the Walls of Jericho. As he attempts to turn him over Gavin grabs his head and rolls him up 1..2..3!

Winner: Gavin Payne

Christopher Nowinski: NO! NO! Jericho got screwed!
Joey Styles: What? He won fair and square because Jericho had to argue with the referee giving him time to rest.
Christopher Nowinski: That's a bunch of lies and you know it! Jericho should have won that match because he is the best in the world at what he does!

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match C
Alpha vs Christopher Daniels

Christopher Daniels enters the ring slowly and turns his back to Alpha as the bell rings. Alpha bounces off the ropes and ALPHA STRIKE! 1..2..3!

Christopher Nowinski: That's the fastest match I've ever seen.
Joey Styles: Looks like Alpha is trying to be the top dog in the CWA! Next up is the final round one match featuring the high flying AJ Styles against D2.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 1 Match D
AJ Styles vs D2

The bell rings and AJ Styles runs at D2 then leaps over his head with a sunset flip! 1..2..3!

Christopher Nowinski: I take that back. Now THAT was the fastest match I've ever seen.
Joey Styles: The Phenomenal One sure looks like he exemplifies his nickname there. Our next match of the night is sure to be the most wild and exciting one with five tag teams in the match at the same time vying for the right to call themselves the Canadian Tag Team Champions!


Tag Team Championship Elimination Tornado Tag
Keldon Bloodsword & Jarek Mace vs Steve Richards & Nick Brolic vs Dilbert & Joey Cilo vs The DiBiase Brothers (Mike & Ted Jr.) vs Raven & Sean Storm

Chaos ensues. All ten men rush at each other and start brawling in the center of the ring. It's just a mass of bodies being struck and smashed all around. On one side of the ring Dilbert smashes Richards with a superkick which sends him out of the ring. While this is going on Nick Brolic double clotheslines both DiBiase Brothers over the top and sends them flying down to the floor below. He is then jumped from behind by Keldon and the two of them rolling under the ropes and start brawling outside of the ring. Raven slides under the ring and grabs Jarek's foot while Sean Storm drop kicks him. The two then take Jarek out together and being double teaming him. This leaves Dilbert and Joey Cilo in the ring together they have their backs to each other and simultaneously step backwards right into each other. The two men turn and meet eye to eye. Cilo dismisses his partner with a scoff and Dilbert doesn't take it. He tags him with a backhand chop and Cilo shoves Dilbert. Dilbert falls right into Mike DiBiase who clubs him in the back of the head while Ted Jr. snatches Joey Cilo from behind and hits Dream Street! 1..2..3! Joey Cilo and Dilbert have been eliminated. The two DiBiase Brothers high five each other, but then exit the ring. Instead of joining the mayhem outside the ring they start walking up the entrance ramp and just leave the match behind.

With three teams left they slowly begin to start filtering back in the ring. Keldon throws a beaten Nick Brolic back into the ring while he digs for weapons under the apron. He comes up with a steel chair and slides in getting ready to go to work. He brings it up ready to punish Brolic some more when Sean Storm comes out of nowhere and Super Kicks the chair right into his face. Jarek who has overcome Raven sees this and crushes Storm with a sickening spear taking him out! 1..2.Storm kicks out! Jarek pops back to his feet and sees Richards rushing at him he strikes him with a punch, another punch and then a devastating 360 degree clothesline. The crowd is going wild as Jarek as just cleaned house, but he turns around into a kick...BROLIC BUSTER! 1..2..3 Jarek Mace and Keldon Bloodsword are eliminated. This leaves two teams remaining in the match. Richards is flat out in the ring and Brolic tries helping him to his feet while he does this Raven comes into the ring with a kendo stick and goes for Brolic who ducks and sprints into the ropes. On the rebound he tries to hit Raven with a running clothesline, but he ducks as well. Sean Storm is just getting up and is met with GREETINGS FROM BED STUY! Brolic turns around and is smashed in the face with the kendo stick several times from Raven knocking him down. Richards staggers to his feet only to be snatched by the head RAVEN EFFECT! 1..2..3!

Winners and NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Raven and Sean Storm

Joey Styles: What a match!
Christopher Nowinski: It figures that no good Raven had to use a weapon to defeat the superior straight edge competitors!
Joey Styles: It's all legal in this match. What happened with your friends the DiBiase Brothers did they chicken out?
Christopher Nowinski: NO! They have a plan, but I...uhh can't tell you because it's top secret!
Joey Styles: Wait, I'm getting word that we actually have a camera backstage with them right now!

The screen goes to the locker room to show a fully dressed pair of DiBiase Brothers strolling up casually to a stretch limousine. Jeremy Borash runs up looking for a comment.

Jeremy Borash: What happened out there? Why did you two leave mid way through the match.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: We accomplished what we were aiming to do this evening. We don't have to explain ourselves to you or anybody for that matter, but because we are generous people we will. Next week on CWA Wired! We have reserved a piece of time to make an announcement and explain our actions tonight. We will discuss it then and only then. Come on Mike let's get out of here.

With that said they go into their limo and drive off into the night.

Christopher Nowinski: We get an exclusive announcement from the DiBiase Brothers on our next show! This is the greatest thing I've ever heard.
Joey Styles: Alright, now we are moving along with round two of the Canadian Championship tournament.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 2 Match A
CM Punk vs Gavin Payne

CM Punk enters the ring first and waits while Gavin's entrance music plays. Nothing happens...again nothing happens. CM Punk grins while the tron activates showing Gavin laid out backstage. Apparently he was ambushed from behind and is no condition to compete. The medics try to help him on to a stretcher, but he pushes them away and starts limping out towards the ring. His music plays again and he slowly makes this way down and the match begins. Punk immediately hops on to him and starts beating him down with vicious kicks. One particular one to the back of the neck takes him down and Punk locks on the Anaconda Vise! Payne struggles furiously, but to no avail and he is forced to submit!

Winner: CM Punk

Christopher Nowinski: Straight Edge prevails again!
Joey Styles: I want to know who did that to Gavin Payne! He clearly was not ready to get into the ring after that.
Christopher Nowinski: Well I guarantee that CM Punk had nothing to do with it.
Joey Styles: Sure thing, whatever you say.

Canadian Championship Tournament Round 2 Match B
Alpha vs AJ Styles

AJ uses his quickness to get the upper hand out of the gate hitting the more powerful Alpha with a series of swift kicks and light grappling moves. Alpha really seems lost out there with AJ's agility leaving him confounded.  He begins just swinging wherever he sees Styles and eventually gets lucky and catches him with a jab to the face! Styles tumbles to the ground after getting hit. Alpha slows down the pace and begins wearing down AJ with a variety of punches as he shows off his boxing background. After this Alpha snatches AJ up and bear hugs him right in the center of the ring! AJ has nowhere to go and Alpha is slowly draining the life from him. The crowd begins clapping in sequence and Styles seemingly draws life from this as he wills himself back into it and eventually strikes Alpha in the face forcing him to relinquish his hold. Styles tries to capitalize and sprints at Alpha who uses his own momentum against him and whips him into the corner turnbuckle! Alpha follows this up with a big splash attempt, but AJ back somersaults on to the top rope causing Alpha to crash into the turnbuckle! AJ kicks him in the head knocking him to the ground and hits the SPIRAL TAP! 1..2..NO! Alpha throws him off with a force. Both men rise to their feet and start exchanging strikes one of Alpha's sends AJ reeling which leads to Alpha winding up EUTHANASIA! Styles immediately collapses to the ground and Alpha hooks both legs 1..2..3!

Winner: Alpha

Joey Styles: What an incredible showcase match by these two competitors. Both men did an amazing job and I think we'll be seeing great things from in the future.
Christopher Nowinski: That's funny because I was just thinking of how atrocious they looked to me.
Joey Styles: Now we go to the ring where our owner Trish Stratus is going to make an announcement.
Christopher Nowinski: Oh great...

Trish Stratus: Hello everyone, are we having a great time tonight or what?!?

The audience pops at someone acknowledging their existence.

Trish Stratus: Well I have already had several complaints from certain individuals backstage who shall remain unnamed about matches for our next show. Several of them are already lined up, but I'm here to announce next week's main event! It is going to feature Chris Jericho and Joey Cilo tagging up against Gavin Payne and Dilbert! There is already some tension between these four and I'm looking for them to get it out in the ring rather than in my office. Also we will have many of our other fantastic competitors facing off, so be sure to tune in for the next episode of CWA Wired!

Joey Styles: Sounds like a great match lined up!
Christopher Nowinski: It will be great when Chris Jericho gets revenge on that rat Gavin Payne!
Joey Styles: Now we have our first ladies match here in CWA with Alyssa Mace facing off against Ashley Lane!

Singles Match
Alyssa Mace vs Ashley Lane

Ashley starts out trying to punch Alyssa, but it's countered into an arm drag which is held in and locked into an arm bar. Lane fights to try and get out of it, but luckily the arm drag brought her towards the side of the ring so he just slides her foot under the rope to break the hold. Alyssa holds on trying to send a message before letting go. The referee warns her not to do that again. Ashley uses this distraction to pull Alyssa down by the hair! Alyssa is frustrated but pops right back up to her feet and charges at Ashley who counters with a leg lariat! Ashley pins 1..NO! Alyssa strongly kicks out with a look of determination on her eyes! The two rise up simultaneously and Ashley goes for a strike, but it's countered into a hammer lock! Ashley is feeling the pressure on her arm and manages to spin out of it and turn around, but Alyssa is one step ahead and ducks to counter into a Northern Lights Suplex! She perfectly executes a bridge 1..2..kick out! Alyssa hops to her feet and stalks Ashley as she slowly rises up. Alyssa comes running in, but Ashley springs up out of nowhere and Hurricanranas her into the mat! This seemingly took the energy out of Ashley as well and both women take their time to get up. When they do Ashley comes in with another strike attempt which Alyssa works into an arm takeover and holds on while she stomps Ashley's elbow with her foot! Ashley writhes in pain until Alyssa lifts her off the ground, knees her in the gut and lifts her up powerbomb style to go for the Bimbo Breaker! Ashley wriggles out though and as Alyssa turns around she's caught with a cutter of nowhere! 1..2..3!

Winner: Ashley Lane

Joey Styles: Whoa! Where did that come from I didn't even know that move was in her repertoire.
Christopher Nowinski: She has been working on it. She told me earlier today she'd be debuting it tonight. She calls it the Wrong Lane and she'll be using it as her finisher.
Joey Styles: Well it certainly got the job done tonight. Now we move on to our main event of the evening...

20
Archives / Money Can Buy Everything
« on: March 05, 2010, 09:55:48 PM »

Several weeks earlier...

An expansive property surrounding a mansion fit for a king is where Ted DiBiase Junior finds himself at home. He is currently lounging by the Olympic sized swimming pool located on a ridge over looking the Pacific Ocean. Many would consider it excessive to have such a swimming pool on Ocean front property, but that was just the normal expectations for a DiBiase. The wealth his father accumulated years ago has allowed the DiBiase family to live a life of luxury and overabundance. He drives the fastest cars, consumes only the finest of wines, and resides at one of my palatial estates spread across the globe. His every heart's desire comes to him at the snap of a finger. Many would use this lifestyle as an excuse to accomplish nothing and sloth their way through life without ever doing anything. Ted has instead chosen to follow in the footsteps of his illustrious father and legendary grandfather to become a world class wrestler. He's beginning to grow tired of laying in the sun and rises off his chair. One of the several gorgeous women around him asks if there is anything wrong, but he waves her off and strolls towards the main building on the estate. As he goes through the rear entrance a butler approaches him and stands by waiting to be acknowledged. Ted Jr. motions with his hands giving the servant permission to speak.

Butler: Master Ted, your father requests the presence of you and your brother in his personal study. You are advised to dress properly as this is not a casual meeting.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: I wonder what my father could have to say that is so important.

Butler: Would you like me to contract your brother for you?

Ted DiBiase Jr.: No, that will be unnecessary I shall do that myself. You are dismissed.

With that the butler bows his head and makes quick flight away from Ted Jr. Ted exits the main house and paces across the lawn over to his own personal house on the property. His residence is three stories tall and is mansion sized in and of itself. He quickly throws on a black Armani shirt and khaki dress pants. Once finished with this he snatches his blackberry up from a stained oak end table and dials up the number of his brother Mike.

Meanwhile...

Mike DiBiase is hard at work in the gym on the far side of the DiBiase estate. He often pushes himself to the brink of exhaustion just to see how long he can last. He already did some lifting and then ran three miles this morning. Now he is in the ring doing some wrestling with a sparring partner. As the "match" begins he rushes in and crushes his much smaller and less talented "opponent" with a running lariat. The man goes down and is most likely out of it, but Mike does not relent and continues his attack. He mounts on top and begins throwing fists directly in the face of his unfortunate counterpart. Each punch sinks into the flesh and strikes with solid force into the unprotected face. Mike has a sadistic grin across his face and his eyes are ablaze with passion while continuing this assault. Eventually he stands up as if the beating is finished but quickly he changes his mind and picks the man back up. He can barely stand on his own and is wobbling to every side, but that does not prevent Mike from proceeding. He sneaks up behind and latches on the Million Dollar Dream! This causes the left arm of his sparring partner to compress the carotid artery and it is not long before he blacks out. Mike continues wrenching down for several moments longer before releasing him and watching with great pleasure as he drops face first down to the canvas.

Mike DiBiase: AHHH!!!!!!!!

Mike's face is red and the veins in his temple are pulsing as blood rushes to his head. He flexes his muscles and breathes heavily all the while having a smile spread across his face. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a figure standing beside the ring. It's one of the many servants working around the estate. He seems to be waiting patiently for Mike to address him. Mike turns his full attention to the man and shouts.

Mike DiBiase: What the hell do you want?!?

Servant: Your brother recently called your personal cell phone. I am just here to inform you of that.

Mike DiBiase: Hand me my phone damn it!

The servant retrieves Mike's phone and hands it to him. Mike slips through the ropes and grabs a fresh white towel to pat down some of the sweat on his forehead before looking through his missed calls list. There are dozens of so-called "friends" in there who only wish to hang around Mike because of his money which would explain why they are on the missed calls list. He sees Ted's name at the top of it and presses the green button with a phone on it. He then waits for Ted to answer on the other end. Meanwhile Ted Jr. is drinking an imported bottle of water to rehydrate when his phone begins blaring out. He snatches it up and see his brother Mike is calling so he quickly answers.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Hey Mike, where are you at?

Mike DiBiase: Just in the gym doing some light training, what's going on?

Ted DiBiase Jr.: Dad wants to see us both in his private study so go get dressed up and I'll meet you over at your place.

Mike DiBiase: Sure thing, I've got to shower first though so take a few extra minutes on your way over.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: No problem. I'm sure I can find something to occupy some time.

They both hang up and Mike rushes back to his place to shower and get changed. While that's happening Ted leaves his place and makes his way outside where the sun is just beginning to set over the ocean. He leisurely strolls his way a long the property looking out over the ocean though he decides against going down the stairs to the beach since he is wearing a pair of black Bruno Magli which he would rather not ruin. While he had the money to easily replace them it's still not worth the inconvenience of having to change his shoes right now before meeting with his father. After spending several minutes just gazing out over the vast expanse that is the visible horizon of the Pacific Ocean he starts to make his way towards Mike's building which is located on the Southeast corner of the estate which also happens to be the most remote and isolated place on the entire property. The volume of people has decreased substantially from earlier in the day and only a dozen or so servants are left wandering the area in case they are needed. The rest of them and the women from earlier all leave to wherever it is this exist when not in Ted's immediate presence.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: What a dull existence that must be.

He meets up with Mike who is ready to go and just strapping on his Movado watch with a black face on his wrist when Ted steps in. He nods at him and the two walk out into the cool evening air together. They chat back and forth a bit as they move across the impeccably trimmed grass towards the main mansion where their father resides. Upon entering they glide up several stair cases on their way up to the top floor. As they go along they pass by priceless antiques and masterpiece paintings which would enthrall a normal human being, but to them is just an average piece of property which they see every single day of their lives. Mike and Ted Jr. reach their destination and Ted Jr. knocks on a solid wooden door and waits until a voice calls for them to enter. When they open the door they look in on a sprawling room with bookcases full of rare editions covering both side walls while a gigantic desk made from Carpathian Elm in front of a window looking out over the property with the ocean in the far background. The setting sun provides the only illumination as shadows dance in across the floor from various objects in the room. Mike and Ted Jr. each proceed into the room and sit down on leather chairs in front of the luxurious desk behind which their father, Ted DiBiase Sr. is seated. His chair is facing out towards the window and away from his two oldest sons.

Ted DiBiase Jr.: You summoned us father.

Ted DiBiase Sr.: Indeed I did. I have made an important business decision involving the two of you. As you know I am always looking for potential investments to expand the vast wealth I have accumulated over the years. I have now found a new one that I am seeking profit from. Your role in this venture is to protect my investment, so to speak.

Mike DiBiase: Absolutely father, what do you wish of us?

Ted DiBiase Sr.: This particular investment is different from the normal kind of thing I put my money in to. This is not an established business or a fast rising company that I am seeking to profit off of immediately. In fact it is just in the formative stages right now. The company is called the Canadian Wrestling Alliance. I have put a great deal of money into helping this company get off the ground with the promise that the two of you be allowed to be permanent members of the roster. There you will hopefully flourish and with your star power leading the way the company is sure to give me a return on investment in the long run.

Mike DiBiase: We will destroy any wrestler they lay before us sir.

Ted DiBiase Sr.: Good! The company's first show is still a couple of weeks away, but I want the two of you to fly up to Toronto this week so you can get acclimated and make some contacts up there. On your way out you will find an envelope near the rear door inside of it is a phone number I wish you to call. I will not tell you who you are calling, but you will know what you need to do when you hear the voice on the other end. Now go up to Canada and show them how we DiBiase's wrestle.

Ted DiBiase Sr. then launches into his signature cackle while the two brothers make their way out towards their destiny in the Canadian Wrestling Alliance.

21
Archives / Life in the Fast Lane
« on: March 05, 2010, 12:05:09 AM »

Ashley arrives several hours later than the required check in time of one in the afternoon when all of the other talent came in to get ready for the inaugural edition of CWA Wired. She's wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants she had purchased from Brooks Brothers with her top of the line Dolce & Gabana sunglasses. As usual she has her iPhone seemingly attached to the side of her head while she is walking with a small Italian leather duffel bag containing her ring gear in the other hand. She is deeply involved in her conversation and is completely aware of the people giving her scornful looks because of the volume of her inane chatter.

Ashley Lane: Ugh, yeah I know these Canadians are so awful. They all smell like syrup and shame. It's soooooo gross, but they pay me so I have to put up with it.

Jeremy Borash sees her and moves in quickly looking for an interview. She does not even see him approaching and continues speaking into her phone. JB gets even closer and makes noises attempting to gain her attention, but she continues turning a blind eye to him. Eventually he pokes her on the shoulder and her face shows an expression of extreme disturbance as Ashley turns around and looks at Jeremy Borash.

Ashley Lane: EWW! One of them is trying to talk to me! What should I do?!? No, I looked at him already so I can't pretend I didn't see him. So you mean there's nothing I can do? I have to actually talk to this filthy, creepy guy?! *SIGH* Okay, ttyl!

She ends the call and shoots a glare at JB as if saying "this better be quick" without even speaking a word. Jeremy holds a microphone up and attempts to start an interview.

Jeremy Borash: You do realize that you were supposed to be here three hours ago right?

Ashley Lane: Oh, so what are you here to tattle on my like a small child? Real mature buddy.

Jeremy Borash: No, but I'm sure the people in charge already know you are late.

Ashley Lane: Whatever, I'm a star they won't do anything to me. Those "mandatory" rules are just for the lower card rabble anyways. They would never dare impose such a rule on someone as famous as I am.

Jeremy Borash: Suuuure, anyways you are facing Alyssa Mace tonight and a lot of people backstage say she is favored to win against you because she is bigger, strong and a sound technical fighter.

Ashley Lane: Who said that?!

Jeremy Borash: People...

Ashley Lane: Tell me who said it right now or I'm going to break your scrawny little neck.

Jeremy Borash: You're smaller than me.

Ashley Lane: Shut up, when it comes to wrestling size and strength don't matter. It's all about star power and that's what I bring.

Jeremy Borash: That doesn't really help you win matches though.

Ashley Lane: I will win, don't you worry about that. 

Jeremy Borash: Well, I heard Alyssa Mace, your opponent, said that she will make you submit tonight.

Ashley Lane:She really said that?

Jeremy Borash: Yeah, I have the video if you want to see it.

Ashley Lane: No, I'd rather not she her disgusting face right now. Haha. That's so funny though. She really thinks she can make me tap out?

Jeremy Borash: That is what she said.

Ashley Lane: What a dumb female dog!

Jeremy Borash: Is that really called for?

Ashley Lane: Yes in fact it is. I mean how stupid can really be? To say something so ridiculous it even makes you appear as a genius beside her. To imply that I would give up in one of her rest holds is just absurd. I'm going to go out there and make her wish she never crossed this Lane. She's going to have the shortest contract in CWA history when I force her out of the business on the very first show. I really can't wait to see her grubby face being smashed into the mat by my boots, which by the way probably cost more than her house. I mean she is from New Jersey; a state that is just the radioactive dumping ground for New York City's trash which breeds a bunch of orange Guido mutants with spiky hair and fist pumping habits. The only place on the planet I can think of that's more awful than New Jersey is Canada, but that's a whole other story which I'm not going to get into now. The simple fact is that I am going to make her wish she had never opened her vile little mouth full of crooked teeth when I am done with her tonight.

Jeremy Borash: Alright, well good luck in your match tonight.

Ashley Lane: Eww, don't talk to me anymore!

As she says that Ashley extends her right hand to show him her palm then she struts off and restarts her ritual of phone chatting while she walks. Ashley makes her way further into the arena and eventually gets into the completely empty women's locker room where she puts down her bag and begins to make herself at home. Out of nowhere there is a knock at the door which she does not acknowledge because her conversation has her completely engrossed. The knocking gradually increases in force and volume until she is forced to recognize it.

Ashley Lane: Oh-my-god! I think this loser is coming back for another interview. Hold on I'm going to shove him off real quick.

Ashley paces over to the heavy steel door and swings it open to reveal one of the many nameless backstage employees. She sighs and begins to slam the door just as quickly as she opened it when he grabs it and prevents her doing so. Furious at the idea that someone would stop her from doing as she pleases Ashley's face turns beet red and she begins shouting at him.

Ashley Lane: WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!? YOU DON'T JUST COME KNOCKING ON MY LOCKER ROOM DOOR AND THEN EXPECT TO TALK TO ME. NO GO AWAY BEFORE I GET YOU FIRED!!!

She is now breathing heavily and several people in the hallway are now gathering around at a safe distance to try and figure out just what she is so angry about. The backstage guy to his credit seems completely unphased and just stands there with a blank look of disinterest across his face.

Backstage Employee: The boss wishes to you see you, now.

Ashley Lane: Boss? I am my own boss and I go where I want when I want.

Backstage Employee: Whatever you say Miss Boss, but I was told if you don't report to the owner's office immediately you are going to be fired, so I'd make it a point to go there now.

Ashley Lane: GRR! GET OUT OF MY FACE!

She storms out of the door and shoves him out of the way and she flies through the corridors backstage towards the office of the CWA Owner...


22
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CAW Profiles
« on: February 21, 2010, 08:39:51 PM »
Template
Quote from: Copy and Paste This
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Height:[/b]
[b]Weight: [/b]
[b]Hometown:[/b]
[b]Wrestling Style:[/b]
[b]Finisher #1:[/b]
[b]Finisher #2: [/b]
[b]Signature Moves: [/b]
[b]Commonly Used Moves:[/b]
[b]Gimmick:[/b]
[b]Disposition(Face/Heel):[/b]
[b]Appearance:[/b]
[b]Biography:[/b]
[b]Additional Notes:[/b]

Unlike the normal roster thread in this one I want you to post your CAW profiles directly in here rather than PMing them to me. Once I see them I'll update them on a roster with a link to your post so that it can be easily referred to. Just copy and paste the template above and post it in this thread. Please do individual posts for each CAW that you create.

23
Canadian Wrestling Alliance (FRP) / CWA Roster
« on: February 21, 2010, 06:15:34 PM »
Registration is now opened for characters. For the next 48 hours I want everyone to limit themselves to one real wrestler per person. Valets/Managers do not count for that restriction. To pick up a character PM me don't post it in this thread. Once the rosters are done I'll edit this post and have the thread closed so we have just the roster in this post. Be sure to include the disposition of your character.

Wrestlers:
Face:
Alyssa Mace - JarekMace4
Dilbert - dilbert505
Gavin Payne - dilbert505
Jarek Mace - JarekMace4
Joey Cilo - Joey Cilo
Keldon Bloodsword - JarekMace4
Tony - Anthony Lurty

Tweener:
Alpha - DogtheUnemployed
Kris Yuthakon - Revolution_Payback
Shawn Cortez - Cryonix

Heel:
Ashley Lane - Turd Ferguson
Awesome Kong - Doctor Barone
Chris Jericho - Joey Cilo
CM Punk - Doctor Barone
Delirious - Commissioner D2
Drew McIntyre - Joey Cilo
Fabien Kaelin - Revolution_Payback
James Altraz - Commissioner D2
Jimmy Jacobs - Commissioner D2
John Bradshaw Layfield - Daeva
Mike DiBiase - Turd Ferguson
Nick Brolic - Doctor Barone
Sean Storm - Rein
Raven - Rein
Steven Richards - Doctor Barone
Ted DiBiase Jr.  - Turd Ferguson
Teddy Hart - Revolution_Payback

Non-Wrestlers
Face:
Funaki - DogtheUnemployed
Trish Stratus - Turd Ferguson

Heel:
Ted DiBiase Sr. - Turd Ferguson

Joey Styles - Play by Play Announcer
Chris Nowinski - Color Commentator
Jeremy Borash - Backstage Interviewer
Trish Stratus - Owner

24
The Jerry Springer segment was so awful. I know Raw has been scraping the bottom of the barrel lately, but this is a new low even from them. Just horrendous television.

25
Professional Wrestling Discussion / Kofi Kingston
« on: October 13, 2009, 01:19:00 PM »
Did anyone else notice they are now billing him from Ghana, West Africa which is where he is really from inside of Jamaica?

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